


Dichotomy

by DriftingMidnight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6696808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DriftingMidnight/pseuds/DriftingMidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Completely destroying a part of  yourself is no easy feat. When Kylo Ren attempts to do just that, the rejected fragments persist in the form of Ben Solo. Trapped in the darkness of Kylo’s mind, Ben can only watch as the years go by. Kylo eventually gets assigned to live on the Finalizer, and there, a young general by the name of Hux manages to catch the attention of both of the divided halves. Somewhere between dreams and waking, without even meaning to, balances that had been so delicately kept begin to shift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Incomplete Genesis

It had been a simple enough task. In order to be reborn, a death had to come first. Not a physical death though. Simply the destruction of one life, one identity, so that another might take it’s place. A denial, a separation from, a total obliteration of all the weakness that the old represented. All for the sake of being reborn stronger.

It should have been a simple enough task. Take the boy and snuff out the light of his pathetic life. Let the darkness take his place. Let it forge a new life. It should have been just that simple. He was just a weak boy after all. It should have been… And yet…

Somehow his light continued to shine.

In the midst of a violently swirling mindscape, there came to be two where there should have only been one. A birth of the new without a death of the old. A sundering instead of a reformation. An incomplete genesis.

Kylo Ren emerged, shrouded in the darkness of his own mind. But his rejection of the light was not an obliteration of it. Stripped of shadows, Ben Solo still remained as an embodiment of that light. A symbol which Kylo still very much intended to destroy. The shared mindscape twisted and convulsed around the two. Black spires, as splintered and jagged as the newly formed Kylo, pierced through the ground. They grew and multiplied until there was a complete ring encircling the two newly fragmented entities.

Turbulence had been a constant in this place for so long, but this sudden moment of stillness held no relief or comfort. Ben Solo understood exactly what was about to happen. This was merely the calm before the storm. Those spires had appeared to keep him caged. They were there to stop him from running and to block out any shreds of light that had not already become a part of Ben. The blockade was largely unnecessary though. Ben could feel the balance of power between them, and he was sure Kylo felt it too. Even with most of the light having already crystallized into Ben Solo, it wouldn’t be enough.

The darkness that had been there from the very beginning had grown far too much. Anger, hatred, distrust, pity, and outright fear provided such fertile soil for it. And then there was Snoke. His sweet words, his tempting promises, his reassurance that the dark side could provide all the power, glory, and belonging that he could ever want. For Kylo Ren it was life-giving water. For Ben Solo it was the sweetest poison. Or rather, it had been, up until now. Up until the point where the two sides had split. When Ben Solo had been the only real identity, Snoke's words were irresistibly sweet. He had drank them up so willingly, so greedily, never wanting them to end. Now, split away from all the dark emotions that had made him so desperate, those words had suddenly lost their addictive sweetness. All that remained was their true poisonous nature that had been slowly eating away at that brilliant light that he had been born with. And now it was too late. There just wasn’t enough light left for him to be able to stop the darkness. There wasn’t enough left for Ben Solo’s light to be able to stop Kylo Ren’s darkness.

Kylo was approaching him now. An unstable red lightsaber clutched in one hand, and wearing robes that were a shadow-stained copy of Ben’s own. Ben felt the hilt of a lightsaber in his own hand, but before he could make a move, something latched on and pulled him backwards onto the ground. Tendrils of darkness moved by Kylo’s command and wrapped themselves tighter around Ben to keep him bound.

“Can you not even manage a single strike against me? Is this pathetic display all that your precious light is capable of? You are WEAK Ben Solo!” Ben could only watch as Kylo drew closer, shouting. While the divide had cleared Ben’s mind of the darkness that had clouded it, Kylo was now more lost than ever. “The light you represent is nothing but the ideals of fools! It only stands in the way of real strength! I will destroy that light and you along with it! LAMENT YOUR WEAKNESS AS YOU EMBRACE DEATH BEN SOLO!!”

“You can’t do it.” The words just slipped out. Ben didn’t know where they had come from, but somehow, he knew that they were true. It was absolutely clear that he did not have the strength to fight of Kylo here and now. Kylo would surely defeat him. But still… Still, Ben knew without a doubt that Kylo would not be able to kill him. “If you really could kill me, I would have been dead already.”

Fury blazed in Kylo’s eyes. “You don’t think I have what it takes to kill you! You question my strength! My resolve!” He took another step forward and pointed the tip of his lightsaber at Ben’s neck. There was so much anger and hatred in Kylo’s glare. It looked like he was barely holding himself back from a berserker's rage. Yet Ben could clearly see that fear and self-doubt also swam in the eyes of his double. Could even feel some of it through the frayed connection that still existed between them. He remembered those feelings so clearly from when the two of them had been one whole. Of course Kylo would have been the one to inherit them.

“This isn’t a matter of power or resolve! If killing me were that easy, I would have simply been swallowed up by the darkness when you appeared!” As he said these words, Ben felt himself grow a little stronger. The spark of light inside him felt like it was glowing just a little brighter. Kylo may have gotten anger, hatred, fear, doubt, and so many other dark emotions that he could draw power from, but Ben’s emotions had some power of their own. Conviction, perseverance, and above all, a resilient light of hope were still pulsing inside of him, refusing to give over to the darkness completely.

“But I’m still here! I’m still alive! I may not be able to fight you, but I can feel that you can’t kill me!” Ben pauses as he suddenly realizes something. “I can feel that somewhere deep down, you don’t _want_ to kill me.”

“SILENCE! You’re just making up petty lies to save yourself! The light side is nothing but lies!”

“You know that I’m speaking the truth! You may have divided us, but don’t tell me that you can’t still feel our connection! I’m still a part of you the same way you are still a part of me!”

At this, Kylo finally seemed to lose his nerve. He abruptly lowered his lightsaber and started to walk away from the spot where Ben was bound. “He’s lying! He’s just a figment of my imagination! I killed Ben Solo and this is nothing but another one of the light’s tricks!”

The darkness began to move again, pulling Ben deeper into itself. It was forming a more complete cage around him.

“Don’t do this! Don’t run away from me!” Ben yelled at Kylo’s retreating back. As the darkness closed in around him, Ben could see Kylo’s appearance shift. He was now wearing robes that were more befitting of one who had turned to the dark side. It was just another way for him to distance himself even further from Ben. Even if it was just inside of this mindscape, Kylo was trying so hard to close down whatever remained of his connection to Ben.

“I’m not going to go away! I’m not going to give up!” The window between them was getting steadily smaller. Ben was running out of time to reach Kylo.

“Don’t act like you can’t still hear me Kylo Ren!”

“NO! Ben Solo was weak! I killed him along with all of the weakness he represented. He is dead and gone and NOT REAL! This voice ISN’T REAL… Not anymore.”

“I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP ON YOU KYLO REN!”

And just like that, the window closed. Kylo had pulled away and left Ben alone, chained in the darkness. Kylo Ren had failed in his endeavor to destroy all traces of the light within himself, but he had managed to lock those traces away by sealing Ben Solo deep within their shared mindscape. In the final stage of his rejection, Kylo had closed himself off from being able to sense anything from Ben at all. He could no longer see, hear, or even feel his other half.

Ben, however, had not done the same.

In his refusal the give up on Kylo, Ben had managed to keep a one-sided connection between them. Even bound in the darkness, Ben Solo could still see the the world through Kylo Ren’s eyes. He could hear every terrible order that was given. He could see them being carried about. He could feel how Kylo’s emotions were still a storm of turbulence despite their separation.

He could do nothing about any of it.

For years, Ben Solo sat alone in the darkness. Screaming and struggling in vain as he tried desperately to reach his other half. To stop him from spiraling ever farther into the darkness. His heart ached to see Kylo slowly destroy himself in his futile quest to prove himself. Still, the light within Ben Solo did not fade. Through the years, in the face of unrelenting darkness, it continued to shine on resiliently. Alone in the darkness, Ben Solo watched and waited.

Until…

 


	2. Enigmatic

Absolute stillness.

That was unusual. In fact, Ben couldn’t recall if he had ever encountered anything like this before. Being sealed away in a far corner of Kylo’s mind had left Ben with precious little to do, and he had taken to meditating and using what was left of his force abilities to read the people around Kylo. Sensing the murmurs of thoughts was easy, but emotions had always been harder for him to pick up on. This man that stood before Kylo now certainly had no shortage of thoughts. Ideas and plans were constantly racing through his head like the current of some unstoppable river. But his emotions… They weren’t just faint. Ben couldn’t detect even the most subtle stirrings of any kind of real feeling from this man. It was true that there were plenty of emotionally closed off people among the ranks of the First Order, but this… This absolute stillness was something else entirely. Under different circumstances, Ben might have even thought it was the stillness of true inner peace. But it was such a cold and empty stillness that emanated from this man. It didn’t feel peaceful at all. Rather, it felt like a void that spoke of a total shut down of all feelings. Like a system that had been deemed superfluous and taken offline.

The man was leaving now. Ben hadn’t caught his name, but his uniform bore the tell-tale bands of a general. That’s right, Snoke had informed Kylo that he would be working alongside a newly appointed general to carry out the plans of the first order. Now that Kylo had finally arrived aboard the Finalizer, it seems the general felt obligated to greet the newcomer in person. Ben could tell that, despite the formalities, the general was none too pleased with Kylo’s arrival. Kylo was outside the normal chain of military command, and the thought fragments Ben had picked up on made it clear that made Kylo an unwelcome variable. There was far too much potential for Kylo to defy his authority and shake up the order that had been so meticulously established aboard this ship.

Ben smiled a little at that. It was practically guaranteed that Kylo was going to make a mess of things with all of his temperamental antics. And that would mean more encounters with this young general. Ben really hadn’t expected that he would be working with someone who appeared to be so close to his own age. Well, Kylo’s age really, since Ben’s appearance hadn’t changed since he had been bound. Still, he was fascinated to find out more about that man and his enigmatic blend of restless thoughts and stilled emotions. How would he respond to Kylo’s tantrums and meltdowns? Would he be able to maintain that cold stillness even in the face of Kylo’s utter chaos? And Ben was certain that there would be chaos. Kylo hadn’t picked up on the general’s stillness, but he had also already become intrigued by this man for his own reasons. The absolute authority that the general represented did not sit well with Kylo, and he wasn’t about to let anyone other than Master Snoke order him around. Kylo would cause chaos just to prove a point. He would cause chaos mostly to prove a point, and ever so slightly because he wanted a reason to interact with the young general again.

And cause chaos he did.

 

Equipment got broken. Orders were disobeyed. Officers were shoved around by invisible hands. It wasn’t long at all before Kylo received a summons to the general’s office.

Hux. This enigmatic man was named Hux. And even though his mental energy was full of extreme irritation at Kylo’s actions, Ben still couldn’t sense any real emotion from Hux who was standing only a few feet away. Kylo’s smug pleasure was radiating with intense clarity on the other hand. He was clearly reveling in the fruits of his own defiance. Knowing the mask made him nearly unreadable only added to Kylo’s delight.

Ben was doing his best to tune it out as he tried to peer deeper into Hux. He shifted his attention to Hux’s eyes. Maybe he would be able to see a flash of something in those eyes. Something that he could latch onto and follow down to the tremor of emotion that had caused it. There were no such glimmers to be found though, just cold hard eyes that seemed to shift in color with every movement. What color were those eyes really? Ben thought they might be green, but blues, greys, and even hints of gold kept showing up.

“Even his eyes are enigmatic.” Ben spoke to the unhearing darkness around him with the hint of a laugh. “It suits him.”

The following months held even more outbursts from Kylo, and more reprimanding from Hux. Kylo himself had noticed a number of interesting details about Hux during these meetings. Hux always held himself so rigidly, as if allowing himself the slightest bit of relaxation would immediately lead to some kind of disaster. He also tried so hard to make himself seem bigger than his slight frame. Yes, Kylo had noticed the way Hux wore that greatcoat to add as much bulk as it could. And since Kylo took note of that, Ben had as well while watching Hux through Kylo’s eyes.

Then there were the even subtler details that only Ben noticed in his constant observing. Hux wasn’t just trying to look bigger, it was as if he was constantly trying to be bigger. As if everything he had already achieved was still nowhere near enough for what he needed to be. This was beyond simple ambition. It was as if Hux was still trying to prove himself constantly. To Ben this only added to the enigma that was Hux. Just who was Hux trying to prove himself to? He didn’t seem like the type of man that particularly cared about being praised. People were more a means to an ends for him, and their opinions only mattered as far as they factored into his designs. Was there some old failure that Hux was still trying to make up for? Who could have possibly made someone as driven and brilliant as Hux feel like he could never be big enough?

And Hux was brilliant. Even Kylo had begrudgingly admitted that to himself after seeing just how smoothly things on the Finalized were run, how efficiently work progressed, how much the officers respected their general, how intricate and detailed all of Hux’s plans and designs were. Ben wondered if that brilliance existed because of Hux’s absolute emotional stillness, or if maybe it had managed to flourish in spite of it. Did Hux even have emotions to begin with? Had there ever been a time when his heart had been just as turbulent and ceaseless as his mind could be. After months of nothing but stillness, Ben was starting to think that maybe it hadn’t.

 

A week after the latest incident of harassing some poor officer who got in his way, Kylo was making his way through the jungle of some backwater planet. The First Order had taken an interest in this hunk of rock not only because it had valuable resources to offer, but also because it was in a strategically advantageous location. Kylo had been sent ahead with the first scouting party in what he could only assume was punishment for his latest bout of disobedience. It was true that his unfortunate victim was one of the higher ranking officers, but Kylo had only shoved her around a bit. She had been perfectly fine, and not even that badly frightened. A week’s worth of scouting duty on some muggy dirtball was completely unwarranted in Kylo’s opinion. The local inhabitants were a fairly primitive species, and it hadn’t taken long for Kylo to determine that there weren’t any force sensitive being in the settlement that the scouting party had contacted.

Once it had been established that the locals were intelligent and friendly enough to attempt negotiations with, an emissary was sent down to the planet on the Order’s behalf. While the First Order was certainly ruthless when it came to crushing its enemies, it didn’t make a habit of attacking planets without a reason. After all, war is messy, and battles lead to losses of troops and supplies. Not to mention damage to the local infrastructures and populations that could later be used in service to the Order. If civilizations could be persuaded into willingly joining the cause, the cost of war would be mitigated and the Order would only grow stronger. While Ben hated so many things about the First Order, he could at least appreciate their attempts at peaceful revolutions. Even if he knew that peace came from cold and carefully calculated mindsets rather than any sort of true kindness or mercy. Still, Ben had been forced to watch Kylo spill plenty of blood already. He would take the cold reasoning as an excuse to stop him from spilling more.

Negotiations hit a wall very quickly. Apparently upon learning that the emissary was far from the highest ranking individual in the Order, the leader of the native tribe had called off the meeting. The being adamantly refused to restart any kind of negotiation attempt unless a worthy individual of high enough rank was summoned to speak for the Order. Of course there was no way that the Supreme Leader would ever bother with such a mundane task, and none of the officers trusted that Kylo Ren would be able to achieve anything other than all out war with the locals. And so, the task of securing a treaty with the locals had fallen to General Hux.

Ben watched through Kylo’s eyes as another First Order shuttle descended into the clearing that was currently being used as a base camp. In all the time since he first met Hux, Ben could not remember ever having seen him go out on a field mission. Ben supposed it was because there had never been any shortage of details that required Hux’s attention aboard the Finalizer. At least there hadn’t been since Kylo first arrived. But now the shuttle’s ramp was being lowered and Hux was stepping out onto this planet that has apparently been forgotten by the rest of the galaxy. The mere idea that someone of Hux’s position would immanently have to make his way through the jungle to speak to some primitive tribe was almost laughable. Why had Hux even agreed to this meeting in the first place? Surely it wouldn’t have been hard for him to pass the task off on some unfortunate subordinate. Did Hux feel bound to the task by some kind of sense of duty, or was peace with the natives of this planet so valuable that even Hux was willing to put up with the same miserable conditions that he had been using to punish Kylo? Ben had to admit, he was curious to see just how Hux was going to handle this whole bizarre situation. Would the muggy heat of the jungle wear him down enough to finally let some flicker of emotion slip past?

Hux only spared Kylo a disdainful glance as he walked past him on his way to join the rest of the make-shift First Order delegation. Despite the unsuitable weather, Hux not only had his greatcoat, but actually had his arms in sleeves for once. His officer’s cap was also perched neatly on his head. It seems he intended to look every bit the part of the powerful leader that the locals had demanded to speak with. Kylo continued to sulk around the edges of the camp while the handful of officers discussed their plans for the upcoming meeting with the natives. The stormtroopers that had been part of the initial scouting party silently stood guard at their posts. There wasn’t much to do around the camp other than wait for the others to start moving out. What did they even need Kylo planetside for anyway. He’d already established that there weren’t any force users in the area, and even if negotiations went sour, the primitive tribe they were dealing with should pose no real threat to the armed stormtroopers. This was probably just another part of his punishment. Being forced to play guard at an almost meaningless political meeting. Not that it would do anything to really discourage him from acting out in the future.

 

After what felt like ages, a strategy had finally been set, and the delegation started their trek through the jungle to the native creatures’ village. Most of the journey was to be along trails that had been cleared away by the locals to speed hunting and trading trips. These narrow corridors were little more than dirt paths punctuated by stretches carpeted with some hardy grass that didn’t seem to mind being constantly tred on. With a map of the area already established, it should by no means have been a dangerous or even particularly difficult journey. Still, part of the trip necessitated going through a denser patch of jungle to avoid a long detour. Trees were not too dense here, but a variety of bushes and other small plants that crowded the jungle floor. The natives had made it clear that they did not approve of visitors indiscriminately slashing away at the colorful mess of flora, so Kylo was left with no choice but to slowly pick his way through the tangle of broad leaves and thin branches. He trailed behind the rest of the party as he maneuvered to keep the tails of his robes from catching or tangling on anything, silently cursing the obnoxiously cheerful looking shrubbery.

It was shortly after they entered this uncleared region that a sense of impending trouble washed over Kylo. It was a prickling feeling of being watched by multiple sets of eyes. They were no longer alone in this jungle, and the jabs of malice that Kylo felt coming from all directions made it very clear that whoever was hiding among the trees was no friend to the First Order.

“AMBUSH!” Kylo had barely managed to get the word out before the first shots flew through the air. A trooper crumpled to the ground ahead of him and Kylo cursed himself as he sprung into action. He’d allowed himself to become too distracted by the plants and overlooked the presence of these attackers until it was already too late. Using his powers to quickly scan the area Kylo could sense at least a dozen beings hidden in the jungle around them. A few were hiding among the branches of the nearby trees and Kylo remotely knocked them from their perches. It wasn’t enough to change the tide of the battle though. The blasters these assailants carried and the fact that there were multiple species present among the group made it clear that this was not simply another native tribe they had stumbled across. This attack had been deliberately planned by people who had somehow been able to keep their presence in the area hidden from the Order’s scouts.

Kylo recognized that he was outnumbered and at a tactical disadvantage. With shots coming from all directions he didn’t have time to come up with anything beyond the most basic of plans. Trying to take out all these enemies was too much of a risk, especially since he has no idea who he was even dealing with and how many more of them might be lurking in the area. That meant he needed to find a way to escape from this place, and fast. Deflecting all the blaster bolts that were aimed at him was taking a good amount of concentration, but close-range fighters were now charging out from their hiding spots. Unclipping his saber, Kylo took a quick look around to see how the rest of group was fairing. A quick glance was enough to show him that about half had already been taken down and the only ones still up and fighting were a few stormtroopers and Hux. The troopers were disposable, but Master Snoke certainly wouldn’t be happy if he abandoned Hux here. Hux seemed unhurt. The commotion had knocked his hat off, but he had already drawn his blaster and was firing back at their enemies.

In that moment Kylo made a snap decision. Rather than powering on his saber, he called upon the Force and let it infuse his body. He imagine a crimson aura enveloping him, seeping deep into every fiber of his being, making him stronger, faster, more agile. In a single leap, Kylo was able to put himself close enough to Hux to reach out and grab him by the arm.

“What are you doing!” Hux demanded while still attempting to shoot at the enemy despite the way Kylo’s tense grip was throwing off his aim.

“We need to get out of here.” Kylo’s tone was distant as he concentrated. It wasn’t very often that he had reason to extend his power to strengthen someone else. He focused on the point of contact where his hand met Hux’s arm, using the physical sensation of the slim wrist in his grasp to ground the visualization of the crimson energy spreading. In almost no time at all, Kylo had poured enough power across the bridge of their linked arms to feel that it had completely surrounded Hux. There was much that could be done with such a connection, but right now he couldn’t afford to focus on anything other than getting them back to the shuttles.

“You holding my arm isn’t helping!” Hux was trying to shake him off, but Kylo just tightened his grip.

“I’m about to run. Get ready.” That was all the warning Kylo gave before he took off, using a long jump to get them out of the spot all their enemies were currently targeting. The sudden acceleration had caused Hux to drop his blaster, and his landing wasn’t too steady since he was unaccustomed to moving with the assistance of the Force. Kylo tugged on Hux’s arm, trying to get him moving forward again. “I’m taking us back to the shuttles.”  
  
“Can’t you do anything like a normal person?” Even though he was rattled by the sudden jump, Hux was trying not to show it. It seemed like he didn’t really understand what exactly had happened, but he didn’t complain any further as Kylo pulled him through the jungle at a superhuman pace. A little bit of running and a few more small leaps was all it took to bring them back to the path. Kylo could sense the attackers were still in pursuit, but none of them were fast enough to keep up with his Force-augmented speed.

Their trip back to the clearing of their camp took only a few minutes and was thankfully uneventful. However, the sight that greeted them when they arrived was anything but comforting. All of the shuttles had been significantly damaged and a few still had smoke rising from them.

Hux scowled at the wreckage. “You were down here a week. How did you manage to overlook such an organized threat?” The disdain in his voice was apparent. Kylo had been sent to scout out the area specifically to ensure that something like this wouldn’t happen. Hux finally tore his arm out of Kylo’s grasp and went to inspect the damage. “Clearly they had plenty of intel about our whereabouts and movements while you failed to notice them at all, even with all of your mystic Force powers.” Those last words were spat out with obvious distaste.

“My Force powers are what got us back here alive.” The image of crimson had already faded from Kylo’s mind. He hadn’t been able to stop it from slipping away after Hux broke the connection between them. Kylo realized that he had failed at the scouting mission, but his words still came out sounding defensive. After all, he had managed to get them away from the ambush alive, and it had been thanks to the Force. “I’ll use them again if those fighters manage to catch up to us.”

“If we don’t get off this dirtball fast it’ll be a matter of when, not if.” Hux continued to assess the damage to the shuttles. He ducked inside each of the shuttles in turn to check the systems while Kylo continued to stand guard out in the clearing.

After checking the last shuttle Hux reemerged and made his way back to the smallest shuttle in the clearing. “The damage is very deliberate and systematic. It looks like they lacked the means to destroy the shuttles outright, so they crippled them as much as they could. If I had to guess, I would say they started with the big ones, but ran out of ammo by the time they got to this one.” Hux was now gesturing towards the inside of that shuttle. “The communications systems are down and the engine has taken some damage, but there’s enough left intact that this one should be able to get us back to the Finalizer. Albeit very slowly.” A frown spread across Hux’s face. Clearly he wasn’t thrilled by the prospect of having to spend extra time near this planet aboard a shuttle that could barely limp its way back to safety.

Kylo wasn’t eager to wait around for another attack either. “Then we take that one and get out of here as fast as it will go.” With long strides he crossed the clearing and followed Hux aboard the small, damaged shuttle. Even without having to read his thoughts, Kylo knew what Hux must have been thinking as he entered the coordinates of the Finalizer. They were both hoping this wasn’t another trap, but those words were left unspoken.

 

Several hours later, the shuttle had managed to carry them far enough away from the planet that Kylo and Hux were much less concerned about another ambush. The autopilot system had informed them that it would take the crippled shuttle almost half a standard day to cross the distance that still remained between them and the Finalizer. There had been nothing left to do but settle in and wait out the remainder of the trip. It didn’t take long for exhaustion from their frantic escape to creep over them, and the surprisingly gentle and steady hum of the shuttle’s remaining systems was enough to lull both of the passengers into an uneasy sleep.

With Kylo now asleep, Ben’s connection to the outside world was almost completely cut off. Ben had gotten into the habit of using this time of especially isolation to meditate on the events of the previous day. He certainly had plenty to think about now. The ambush had been a surprise to him as well. Ben knew that Kylo hadn’t simply overlooked the presence of a hostile faction on that planet. Whoever planned that attack must have been watching from a distance, making sure to stay outside of detection range. The resources on that planet must be pretty valuable if someone was willing to put that much effort into a planned strike against the First Order.

It wasn’t the strategic details of the ambush that truly intrigued Ben though. He was far more taken by what he has been able to observe of Hux during the whole incident. Kylo had been far too busy escaping to pay much attention to the information coming across the temporary Force link that he had established, but Ben had been able to take it all in from the relative safety of his dark prison. When the bond had first been established, Ben couldn’t help but notice again how slight Hux’s build really was. That detail had been hard to ignore when Kylo’s energy had been wrapping itself around Hux and permeating into him to let him keep up with Kylo. Ben had also gotten a feel for the strength that Hux possessed despite his lean appearance. It was deceptive, like so many other things about him seemed to be. There was also his strength of will. Even surrounded and outnumbered, Hux’s first reaction had been to fight back. His thoughts had been focused on taking down anyone that dared to oppose him. He has no intention of going down without a fight. They wouldn’t take him that easily. The imprints of those thoughts had been so clear through the connection. And yet, despite how dire the situation had been getting, how much stronger the connection was than usual, Ben gotten nothing but more of the same absolute emotional stillness from Hux.

Ben didn’t know what to make of this. Surely being backed into a corner so suddenly should have caused at least some kind of emotional reaction. Hux had been caught off guard like the rest of them, and yet his reaction had been purely mental. Even with intense training, completely suppressing a natural emotional response in the face of a sudden threat was not easy. Ben gazed out at the dark mindscape around him as the weight of sorrow started to settle into his heart. He had been trying for months to unravel the enigma that was Hux, and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the idea that the answer was that Hux simply lacked emotions altogether. For some reason he didn’t want to accept that as the truth. Maybe it was just his idealistic nature that made Ben want to believe that there was more to Hux than a heartless existence that couldn’t feel anything at all.

The sadness was growing a bit heavier now, and not just that. Ben could feel flickers of anger pushing back against the sorrow. Piercing it and changing it into something else. A loathing of a perceived failure, a frustration at apparent weakness, a straining attempt to hold something back. It didn’t feel right though. Even though Ben felt these emotions pass through him so clearly, it was like they weren’t his own. There was a feeling like something was finally giving way. Like something was just suddenly snapping from the burden of a pressure that it just couldn’t bear any longer.

The force of it hit Ben so hard he was instantly sent sprawling backwards onto the flat rock he had been meditating on.  
  
A torrent of emotion was washing over him and it felt like the current could have swept him away if he hadn’t been chained up. He clutched tightly at his heart with one hand, desperately trying to process what was happening. So many emotions were all mixing together and continuing to rush over him. He recognized some of the same emotions that he had been feeling only moments before, but intensity was on a completely different level now. The self-loathing felt like scalding liquid bubbling up inside of him, the frustration a tightness that threatened to crush his chest, the straining now a mad scramble of regain control over the flood that was spilling out. One after the other, more and more emotions continued to wash over Ben as he tried to hold on enough to pull himself out of the invisible torrent.

He knew that these emotions were not his own. They were coming from somewhere else. But where? Kylo’s emotions could get intense when he had nightmares, but this blend of feelings seemed off. There were still parts that felt tortured, but in a way that was different from Kylo’s. There was no way for Ben to properly articulate what it was that made him so sure that these feelings were more foreign than that. A ripple of fear passed over him and… Oh? What an unusual vibration that fear had. There were many layers to it. Fear of the unknown, fear of what lay ahead, but most intriguingly, an unmistakable sense of fear over what would happen is this whole outwelling of emotion was ever noticed. No, there was no way these feelings could belong to Kylo who regularly let his emotions take over regardless of who was watching. This just had to be coming from somewhere else, from someone else. Somehow, the Force had connected him to someone and was now broadcasting that person’s feelings directly to Ben. Why would it do that though? Was this some new kind of vision? One that was more sensation than vision? Why was the Force suddenly giving him something so…

Enigmatic...

If he hadn’t already been sprawled out, Ben felt like the blow of his sudden realization would have knocked him back again. Hux! Of course! It had to be! Everything was starting to make sense now. This connection wasn’t random at all. It must have been a remnant of the Force bond from earlier. The physical augmentation that Kylo had set up had dissipated hours ago, but maybe in his intense observation Ben has unknowingly managed to set up an emotional connection to Hux that somehow still persisted. But if these emotions really did belong to Hux, why the sudden outpouring now? Why not in the heat of the moment back when the were being ambushed? Confused, Ben tried to search for some invisible thread that might be connecting him to Hux. If he could find it, maybe he could follow it and find something that would explain all of this.

Ben focused carefully on his surroundings, but he could find no such thread. He did notice that the torrent of emotion was finally quieting down though. As if the gates that released the flood were finally being sealed shut again. On one hand, Ben was grateful for the respite, but on the other he didn’t want to lose this insight into Hux’s emotions. He reached out, trying to grab on to the intangible trickles of energy that were now receding back to their source. Maybe there was some way he could keep those gates from slamming shut completely. Some way to maintain just the tiniest crack through which he could peek into the depths that were hidden beyond.

As the last of the trickles slipped out from between Ben’s fingers, they left him with a small parting gift. It was the briefest flash of a vision. Even though Kylo’s eyes were still closed, for a single moment Ben could clearly see Hux sitting across from him.  
  
He had taken off the greatcoat at some point, and by the Force, Ben had never seen Hux look so small and unsure of himself as he did in this moment. Especially with the vast expanse of space visible through the viewport beside him.

His eyes were still slightly glazed as if he was just coming out of a dream, but his expression showed the slightest traces of the emotions that had been flooding Ben’s consciousness until only moments before. Hux looked so tired and dejected. As if the emotional outpouring and subsequent resealing of those feelings had left him drained. As if he was disappointed in himself for not being able to stop all of it in the first place.

Then the vision faded and Ben was left alone in the dark again. He was still felt shaken up by the whole experience, but he couldn’t help the smile the crept onto his face. That vision had proved it. For just a little while, he really had managed to connect with Hux! And somewhere, hidden safely behind impossibly thick walls, Hux had a heart that was capable of feeling! Ben didn’t know why the enigma of Hux’s emotions mattered so much to him. But in this moment he didn’t care. He felt like he had finally managed to find the first piece of the key to unlocking this whole riddle. Ben paused as he realized something else. This had also been the first time in all the years since his binding that Ben had managed to feel so keenly the emotions of someone other than Kylo.

Ben’s grin only grew wider at that thought.


	3. Lingering Unease

Kylo Ren awoke a number of hours later. Despite the reasonably long period of sleep, he did not feel particularly rested. The shuttle’s seats weren’t meant for sleep though, and the lingering unease from the failed mission had probably been weighing on his mind even as he slept. Another ambush seemed very unlikely now that they had gotten so far away from the planet. Still, Kylo had the distinct feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It bothered him that he couldn’t immediately place the source of the strange tension. The sudden appearance of hostile forces after a week of scouting out the area had indeed caught him off guard, but that alone shouldn’t be so concerning. True, it opened up the possibility that a larger plot might be in motion, but his intuition seemed to be hinting that he wasn’t in any imminent danger. Kylo tried to reach out to the Force for a vision or some kind of guidance that might provide him with an answer, but he got only silence.

A brief glance around the shuttle’s interior revealed that Hux was also awake. He was standing over the craft’s control panel, presumably checking the ship’s current location and the status of it’s systems. At least the propulsion and life support systems needed to stay online if they wanted any hope of getting back to the Finalizer alive. From where he was sitting, Kylo couldn’t see Hux’s face, but he got a vague sense that something was slightly off about the general. Maybe it was the subtle but uncharacteristic slump of Hux’s shoulders beneath his greatcoat that hinted at exhaustion, or how unusually quiet and distant his radiating thought energy was.

Kylo brushed these observations aside by telling himself that Hux was just on edge from the surprise attack and the uncomfortable sleeping conditions aboard the shuttle. There wasn’t much point in dwelling on those details. Even if Hux didn’t seem quite like his usual self, just thinking about it wasn’t going to get Kylo anywhere, and flat out asking Hux if something was wrong seemed completely ridiculous. There were plenty of obvious problems about their current situation, and if it was something else… Well, considering Kylo’s constant attempts to undermine his authority over the past several months, Kylo couldn’t imagine that Hux would want to open up to him about anything even remotely personal. With nothing much to do, Kylo resigned to spending the remainder of the trip mostly in meditation.

 

The actual return to the Finalizer went about as smoothly as could be imagined. The crew had recognized the crippled shuttle as one that had recently been sent out as part of a scouting mission, but the lack of a response to their attempts to hail it made them appropriately wary. A number of stormtroopers were standing at the ready when the small shuttle was allowed into the landing bay. For all they knew, some resistance group could be using the shuttle as cover to launch an attack on the inside of the Finalizer. Hux left the shuttle first, and the troopers lowered their weapons almost immediately upon seeing the general striding down the ramp. A few nearby officers hurried over to find out what could have possibly happened to force their general to return in a barely functional ship.

Kylo waited for a while more onboard the shuttle to make sure that the gathered personal were thoroughly occupied with receiving orders from Hux. Once everyone seemed sufficiently distracted, Kylo quickly slipped out of the craft and headed directly for his own quarters. He was currently in no mood to deal with anyone or anything other than the service droids that were tasked with bringing food to his door. The shuttle hadn’t been equipped with anything beyond meager emergency rations, and more importantly, Kylo had absolutely no desire to give Hux the satisfaction of seeing him be forced to remove his helmet just to gnaw on a tasteless nutrition block. No, with all of his training, Kylo had enough self control of ignore his hunger long enough to make it back to the safety of his own quarters. Not that the food aboard the Finalizer was much better than the emergency rations though.

That’s one thing Kylo actually looked forward to about planet missions, the chance to get his hands on some real food. The planet that he had just spent a week on had plenty of edible plants as well as animals that could be easily hunted. It required a certain degree of prep work, but Kylo had been able to make himself some pretty decent meals while secluded in his personal shuttle. It’s a pity that ship had been far too damaged to fly. He had been using it to store the extra food he gathered in the hopes of sneaking it aboard the Finalizer to give himself an extended break from the standard rations.

There was no point to thinking about the possibility of better meals now. Upon reaching his quarters, Kylo punched in the code to open the door and proceeded immediately to the console that allowed him to order a delivery of food. The options were limited to the standard bland rations as usual, but with how hungry he was, Kylo didn’t care. He placed an order for one of the basic meal sets and retreated deeper into his chambers to wait for it to be brought to him. It wouldn’t be long now, but even this small amount of waiting was wearing on Kylo’s already agitated state.

He paced about in an attempt to burn off some of the unease that was lingering so stubbornly. Something still felt out of place, and he was running out of easy targets for his blame. The Finalizer provided him with plenty of safety from a potential attack, food would soon be delivered, and after that he could rest properly in his own bed if he wanted to. Those were all the easy answers to his current discomfort, but Kylo knew that none of them were right. There was no way that any of those mundane problems could cause him to feel so unbalanced and set his nerves on edge in such a way. With each step, it felt like something inside of him was tilting and spinning. Something that should have been fixed tightly in place, but had somehow been knocked loose.

Kylo was snapped out of his pondering when a tone alerted him to the arrival of the service droid outside of his quarters. He wasted no time in opening the door and retrieving the small tray. There wasn’t enough there to fully satisfy him, but it would do for now. The First Order was quite strict about the portioning of its supplies, and getting more than the allotted amount involved more work than Kylo was willing to do at the moment. A standard portion would quell at least some of his hunger. He could worry about sneaking away extra rations later.

As the droid wheeled away down the hall, Kylo shut his door and made sure that it was firmly locked before making his way to the bed at the back of the chambers. Despite constantly eating meals in his quarters, he hadn’t bothered with acquiring a dining table of any sort. There was the work console that had come as a standard feature, but he preferred to sit on the edge of the bed, or even on the floor, during meals. It was probably a habit left over from time he spent in training, secluded far away from luxuries like real furniture. Quickly, Kylo set the tray on the bed prior to removing his helmet and setting it aside. He didn’t even bother to take off his gloves before beginning to scarf down the rations. The food was bland and almost tasteless as expected, but he shoveled more of it into his mouth regardless. Taste didn’t matter much since he had no better alternatives, and eating elegantly didn’t matter since there wasn’t anyone around to scold him for poor table manners.

The contents of the tray were quickly devoured, and Kylo was once again left without a distraction from his earlier thoughts. Even without the pangs of hunger, he was still unusually on edge. He had to figure out what had managed to get under his skin and why it wasn’t going away. It had to be something to do with the mission. Something that happened during those last few hours on the surface of the planet. He had been perfectly calm before departing for the ill-fated meeting after all. It’s wasn’t the ambush itself either. The attack had been unexpected, but it had actually been relatively easy to get away from. He hadn’t sustained any injuries during the encounter and he hadn’t sensed anyone following him beyond the surface of the planet. There were the lost troops, but that had only been a handful of easily replaceable people. Other than himself, Hux had been the only person there who was of any real significance to the Order, and he had gotten him out of there swiftly with the assistance of the Force.

At that thought, Kylo felt a pulse of energy pass through his left hand. His eyes widened at the suddenness of the sensation. He tore off his left glove and brought his now bare hand closer to his face so that he could examine it more carefully.  
There didn’t appear to be anything remarkable about his hand. There were no cuts or scratches on it, no new scars, no new marks of any kind. Another pulsation, and now he could feel a soft pressure ghosting against his palm. The sensation was dulled though, as if he were still wearing his glove. A third pulse, and a faint glow of crimson energy started to shimmer around his hand. Seemingly of its own volition if began to spread out, as if it was seeking something.

That only confirmed what Kylo had begun to suspect. His use of the force to boost Hux’s physical abilities was having some unexpected consequences. This wasn’t the first time that Kylo had used such a technique, but apparently he must have done something differently this time. Could it be the fact that he rushed the formation of the link? That didn’t seem right. If the connect had been too weak, Hux wouldn’t have been able to keep up. And if it was too strong it shouldn’t have mattered because Hux probably wouldn’t have know how to take advantage of it to go even faster. He had been able to sense some of Hux’s thought while they ran, but that connection hadn’t felt any deeper than the casual observation he normally used around other people. During their escape he had been far too busy in making sure Hux didn’t fall behind to go digging around in his thoughts.

Kylo flexed his hand as another pulse of energy ran through it. Hux’s wrist had felt surprisingly slim in his grasp. Now that he thought about it, all of Hux had felt slimmer than he expected through the Force’s enveloping touch. The layers of the uniform must have added more bulk than he realized. Maybe that was exactly what Hux had been going for. What would it have felt like if he had been and to take a hold of Hux with his bare hands? Would he still have felt just as slim? How much more would he have felt had he been able to make skin-to-skin contact? Could he have felt the ferocity and force of will befitting of a general pulsing through Hux’s veins?

Looking away, Kylo clenched his hand and shook his head in an effort to redirect his thoughts. Why was he thinking about any of that in the first place? It didn’t matter if Hux was slim or not. He was an asset to the First Order who needed to be protected and a symbol of authority that Kylo could question within limits. Kylo had done his job in saving him. The was no need for him to continue to think about the general now. Perhaps he had failed to sever the connection properly. It had seemed to fade all on its own when Hux had pulled away, but maybe that hadn’t been good enough? Was the link still open on some level? Could that be the loose piece that was throwing him off balance? Another thought occurred to Kylo. What if the connection had been closed down, but a piece of Hux’s energy had somehow managed to slip through before that happened and had now gotten stuck in Kylo? How would that be possible though? The energy that others radiated passed through like transmissions. It didn’t stick around unless he chose to remember it, and even then, the memories were easily dismissed. Unless there was something else, something important. But what could be important about some hypothetical fragment of energy that Kylo couldn’t even remember receiving?

Nothing about this was adding up. Kylo got up off the bed and set about stripping off the outer layers of his robes. Maybe some physical training would do him some good. Center his focus on combat forms, shut out everything beyond his immediate surroundings, and push himself until exhaustion replaced the unease. Maybe then he would be able to forget all about feeling like something was out of place or thinking too much about Hux and what could have possibly gone wrong in that brief time during which they were connected through the Force.

 

For the next several days, Kylo had been left largely undisturbed. Hux had been handling the aftermath of the failed negotiation attempts on his own, and there were no other matters that had required personal attention from the master of the Knights of Ren. Kylo had been free to brood in his chambers, train as much as he wanted, and occasionally swipe additional portions of food. The feeling of unease had passed by now, and Kylo dared not question what exactly had finally driven it away. He simply decided that he needed to be more careful when using the Force to share physical boosts with others. It wouldn’t do to make the same mistake twice.

Kylo was in the middle of practicing yet another set of combat forms when the first message since his return came through. It was a summons from Hux. Apparently he finally wanted Kylo to report to him for a discussion about the last mission. Regular transmissions had been sent to the Finalizer detailing the findings of the scouting parties, but in the wake of the ambush, it wasn’t surprising that Hux wanted to ask Kylo about any details that may have been overlooked in those reports. What was somewhat surprising was how long it had taken Hux to call him in. Investigating the incident should have been high enough on the priority list, and yet it had taken several days just for him to get around to summoning Kylo. Were there other more pressing matters that had been keeping the general busy?

Regardless, Kylo happened to been feeling particularly defiant at that moment. It was the middle of the day cycle, and there was no doubt that Hux would either be on the command bridge or in his office for several more standard hours before going off to sleep. If he had waited several days to contact Kylo in the first place, surely he could wait a while longer for that meeting to actually occur. Kylo set down his comm link and returned to his training. He would answer the summons, but later, at a time that better suited him.

That time finally happened towards the very end of that day cycle. Kylo cornered the first officer he came across in the hallways and inquired about General Hux’s whereabouts. It would seem that Hux had been in his office since the beginning of that particular work shift. Giving a somewhat menacing nod, rather than a verbal thanks, Kylo set off towards the general’s office. Hux would certainly be displeased with how long it had taken Kylo to comply with the summons, but he wouldn’t be able to say all that much which how Kylo had saved him only a few days prior. An amused smirk spread across Kylo’s face. He was going to have fun seeing how far he could push the whole rescue debt thing.

It took only a few minutes for Kylo to make his way over to Hux’s office. He tapped the access panel to announce his presence and request entry. There was no response. Again, he tapped the panel and once again, nothing happened. Was the panel malfunctioning? Did the alert of a visitor not go through, or was Hux just ignoring it to punish Kylo for being late? Kylo tried knocking on the door to see if maybe that would have a different result. Still, no reaction from within the office. He reached out through the Force just to make sure that Hux was actually in there, and he was. That just made Kylo more irritated, he wasn’t about to be ignored out of something as petty as spite for a delayed response to a summons. Hux did not have such absolute authority over him.

This time Kylo reached out towards the panel and used his abilities to override the locks on the door. As secure as the Finalizer’s systems may be, they were still vulnerable to a trained Force-user who had learned how to get around them. The door finally slid open, and Kylo entered the room with heavy steps. He was intent on letting Hux know very clearly that he was not some subordinate that could be bossed around at will. Or if Hux was simply too absorbed in his work to even hear knocking, then he really ought to pay more attention. What if it had been an emergency and the crew had needed their general immediately?

Kylo had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts on what he would say to Hux, that it took him several seconds to actually process what he was seeing. Suddenly, he stopped cold just a few steps from the general’s desk. He had thought of several possible reasons why Hux had not responded to his arrival at the door, but this… He hadn’t expected this. He used a slight brush of Force energy just to be sure, and yes, he was seeing things correctly. This was the true reason why there had been no answer to his presence.

General Hux had fallen asleep at his desk.  
  
Suddenly Kylo wasn’t sure how to proceed. All of the plans he had for this encounter suddenly flew out of his head. None of them had accounted for the possibility that Hux would be asleep anyway. He was honestly too shocked to come up with anything quickly. Of course Hux needed sleep like every other human, but somehow, the idea of him falling asleep in his office just seemed so wrong. If anything, Hux seemed like the type who would be an insomniac that would have to force himself to get at least a few hours on sleep in between work shifts. It was no secret aboard the Finalizer that the general was a workaholic who put in long hours to keep the ship running with absolute efficiency.

The uneasy, unbalanced feeling seemed to be creeping back in, and Kylo wanted to just back out of the room and pretend like this had never happened. After all, Hux was asleep. It wasn’t like he would even know that Kylo had come to his office in the first place. Kylo could easily come back tomorrow and pretend like he’d simply decided to be extra slow about responding to the summons. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to take a single step towards the door. He simply stood there, frozen in place. As if something wanted him to stay here. To stay here and stare at a sleeping Hux, as some unnamed energy permeated the room and once again set him on edge.

Kylo was still standing there transfixed when Hux began to stir from his slumber. Now Kylo felt even more panicked, but it was probably too late to back out of the room without being noticed. He could use the Force to hide himself as he escaped, but again, something was stopping him from acting. So he just stood there and watched silently as Hux raised his head and blinked slowly, the last traces of sleep leaving his mind as he took in the sight before him. A slight twitch that was quickly suppressed was the only indication that Hux was at all startled by Kylo’s presence in his office. Hux glanced at one of the holodisplays before him, presumably checking the chronometer to determine the time.

“I requested your presence over nine standard hours ago.”

Kylo didn’t know what to say. It was true that he was late, but was Hux really going to pretend that he hadn’t just been caught sleeping in his office? And now that Kylo was able to see his face, Hux looked even more worn down than usual. The perfectly composed expression couldn’t hide the exhaustion that dulled his normally piercing glare. Even Hux’s uniform told a tale of overwork through the creases that should have been carefully pressed out before the start of the cycle’s work shifts. Was it possible that Hux hadn’t so much fallen asleep as passed out from exhaustion? In any other situation it would have seemed like an almost impossible notion, but the sight before him had Kylo starting to believe in it.

“How long have you been awake?” Kylo clenched his fist. He hadn’t meant for that to slip out.

Hux glanced over to the chronometer again. “Maybe a standard minute now. Is that somehow relevant you your tardiness?”

“No, before that. How long were you awake for before I came in here?” Now that he had started down this line of inquiry it seemed like he couldn’t stop until he got an answer.

A few taps on the holodisplays, another glance towards the chronometer, “Over seventy standard hours, possibly more. I still fail to see how any of this is relevant.”

Over seventy standard hours?! That was unreasonable for a normal human! No wonder Hux was passing out at his desk. That also explained why he hadn’t called Kylo in for a meeting earlier. Something must have come up that was so urgent that Hux felt the need to forgo sleep to get the situation under control. Kylo was starting to wonder if it was something that should concern him as well, but he couldn’t risk giving Hux an opening to criticize him for not being more aware of what was going on.

“I was merely curious as to what could have caused such an unbecoming display. Now, what did you need my presence for, General?” The mask went a long way in concealing his emotions, but Kylo still endeavored to project an air of indifference. Some minor concern for Hux’s well-being was no reason to suddenly become more obedient.

Hux narrowed his eyes in clear irritation. “Getting to the point now, are we? I called you here to get a more in-depth report about what you observed during your most recent scouting mission. It would appear the group that ambushed us was working with some local coalition. There are a few more advanced societies in a nearby star-system, and they must have extremely well hidden bases set up to fight off outsiders.” Here he paused and pulled up a file on one of the holodisplays for Kylo to see. It was a report of another failed scouting mission in the same region. That particular scouting party had been attacked far more quickly. “I need to know how they are managing to stay so well hidden prior to striking. You are the only other person who has survived an attack from them so far, and as much as I hate to admit it, you may be the only one who knows something that could help prevent the needless loss of even more troops.”

“I didn’t see or sense anything that seemed out of place. If they have a permanent base established on that planet, it must have been far from the area I scouted.”

“Could the entrances have been so well integrated into their surroundings that you simply missed them?” There was definitely a challenging edge to the way Hux said that. He was questioning Kylo’s competence and daring him to admit that he might have made a mistake and overlooked something crucial.

“Even if the entrances were hidden, I would have detected the presence of the people inside. If there was some kind of base there, it must have been empty.” Kylo wasn’t about to back down so easily. The power of the Force and his ability to command it was not something that he would allow Hux to question.

“And if the base was very large? How far away would someone have to be to escape your detection?”

Kylo didn’t have an easy answer for that question. The range at which he could sense other people was not a single set distance. It all depended on how much he concentrated on the task, as well as what he was looking for. While on the planet, he had been focused on searching for any potential Force-users. Any life form that lacked a strong connection to the Force has simply been ignored during his long-range sweeps. He didn’t want to say it, but it was possible that he could have overlooked a hidden base if its crew members had stayed too far away or too far underground to be detected by his short-range patrol scans.

“I’ll take your silence as an indication that you might have missed something after all.” Without hesitation, Hux began to add notes to one of the reports.

“Why is this hypothetical base and the coalition behind it such an urgent matter?” Now Kylo was just looking for other targets at which to direct his frustration at being called out on a potential mistake. “The section of the report you showed me said nothing about possible ties to the Resistance, and none of the individuals that have been lost so far were of any major importance.”

The typing stopped and Hux slowly lifted his eyes to glare at Kylo. “The First Order needs to secure control of the planets in that region because they have valuable resources. We can’t afford to waste what limited resources we currently have, including troops, on more failed scouting missions. You would do well to remember that on the next mission.” He returned his attention to the holodisplays and pulled up a different file. “A few ships have been sent out to do more detailed orbital scans on the planets of interest. The attacks we have faced so far have been exclusively land based, so they are expected to complete their mission without interference. Once they do, you will be sent back to the planet you so haphazardly scouted before, and this time you will find the enemy base and eliminate them. Is that clear?”

“Don’t doubt my abilities to wipe out anyone who stands in my way.” If there was some kind of a hidden base on that planet, Kylo fully intended to find them. They may have managed to escape his detection once, but they would certainly not be so lucky a second time. Not when he was specifically looking for them.

“Good. I suggest to be prepared to set out soon. Another delay of such duration will not be tolerated.” Hux got up from his chair and began to move towards Kylo, but he stumbled slightly before he even fully rounded the edge of the desk. The exhaustion suddenly reappeared clearly as he was forced to brace himself with one hand against the desk and his other hand curled around his stomach. This made Kylo curious. Hux had already admitted to skipping out on sleep, but was he skipping out on meals as well?

Then he felt it. Once again, the lingering unease passed through him. It was much fainter this time, and more like a pulse than a persistent weight. The feeling made him want to leave the room, and at the same time, it felt like it was compelling him to stay. Hux had obviously gotten too absorbed in his work to take proper care of himself, and he wouldn’t be of any value to the Order if he couldn’t continue to work efficiently. Kylo himself certainly had no interest in being tied down the the logistics of keeping the Finalizer running smoothly. He was simply concerned about the greater good of this massive ship that was technically supposed to be his to command. Correction, it was his to command, he simply allowed Hux to issue all of the menial commands to the lower ranks.

Hux had righted himself by now and had carefully hidden his lack of sleep from his posture and expression. The slightly rumpled uniform was still a hint, and he hadn’t be able to erase some of the physical traces of overwork from his face. It seemed he was waiting on Kylo to leave the office before he attempted to do whatever it was that he had initially stood up to do.

“Before I leave, allow me to tell you this General.” Kylo took a step forward and leaned in for emphasis. He knew that Hux couldn’t see his face through the mask, but physical proximity tended to add impact to words regardless. “You should be more careful about making time for meals and sleep. What would you have done if it had been one of your subordinates who had found you here? It would not do at all for word to get out that one of the First Order’s finest generals was spotted sleeping on the job.”

Kylo didn’t wait around for a reply. He simply turned and strode out of the room, leaving Hux to consider those words. It was completely true that it would be deeply troublesome if any of the officers had found Hux passed out like that. Word spread quickly around the Finalizer after all. And as much as Kylo loved to undermine Hux’s authority, he simply couldn’t have the rest of the crew thinking that they could do the same. If Hux didn’t take the proper measure to prevent this from happening again, Kylo would have to make sure to remind him. It wouldn’t be too hard to remotely check in on him every so often to ensure he wasn’t skipping on sleep.

The same idea applied to meals, although those might be harder to monitor. Kylo supposed he could attempt to slip into Hux’s office and leave food on his desk as a reminder. He could even sneak in things he brought back from missions on planets. It sounded like he would get the chance to return to that jungle planet very soon. That place certainly had plenty of edible things that were better than standard rations. In fact the locals had mentioned something about a large rodent creature being particularly nutritious if prepared correctly. How would Hux take to something other than the standard rations anyway? It would be considered contraband, but with how Hux talked about not wasting resources earlier, he wouldn’t just throw away perfectly good food, would he?

All the way back to his quarters Kylo was preoccupied with coming up with plans to procure better food during the upcoming mission and then sneak it into Hux’s office to remind him to eat. Such trivial concerns should have seemed odd to him, but somehow he wasn’t bothered by that. He just kept telling himself that he was simply acting in the best interests of the ship by making sure that the general could do his job. The lingering unease and feelings of being unbalanced seemingly forgotten for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that Ben didn't show up in this chapter. He was initially supposed to, but then that scene got pushed to the next chapter. Fear not though! He's still very important to this story and he's going to get to do a lot more soon enough!


	4. Only in Dreams

While Kylo’s mind was occupied with thoughts of sneaking food into Hux’s office, Ben was also thinking about about Hux. Ben, however, was captivated by something very different than plans based on vague rationalizations about concern for the general’s well-being. He was reflecting back on the recent meeting, because, for the second time now, Ben had managed to pick up on the slightest flutter of emotion coming from Hux. Kylo had apparently been too taken aback by the sight of the sleeping general to notice the emotional radiation coming from him, but Ben had immediately latched on to those tremors.

The experience this time had been nowhere near as intense as what Ben had felt only a few days prior during that long shuttle ride back to the Finalizer. If that had been a wall giving way completely under pressure, then this had been just a crack appearing between patched up sections. Dissatisfaction, grating and bitter, along with the heavy weight of sorrow, had managed to seep out and were pooling in the office when Kylo had first entered. Ben had tried frantically to wade through the emotional radiation. If he could have just found that crack, maybe he would have been able to catch a glimpse of what lay beyond that wall.

He was not so fortunate though. The chains that kept him bound prevented him from being able to reach Hux. A few steps of distance should have been nothing when it came to reaching out with the Force. Yet Ben had been unable to bridge even that short span. He had been unable to do little more than struggle against his binds as the energy had receded back into into Hux. Ben had wanted to chase it, to seamlessly slip into that flow of energy and allow it to carry him back to its source. Nothing of the sort had happened. All he had gotten were brief sparks of shock and fear followed almost immediately by a slow pulse of relief, and then nothing but stillness once again.

Many minutes had already passed since that encounter, but Ben couldn’t bring himself to move from the spot where he was kneeling. This was it. This was as far as his chains would allow him to move. This was the spot where their pull on his legs had caused him to trip and fall to his knees. Ben was well aware that he had only moved within the mindscape. He couldn’t move about physical reality the way Kylo did so freely. But still, Ben felt like if he could just manage to move a little farther, just reach beyond the shadowy spires around him, something would be different. He had somehow managed to receive a vision the last time he had connected with Hux. Maybe there would be more visions awaiting him on the other side of those cage like spikes.

Why had he been granted that vision in the shuttle? Was it really because of the Force connection that Kylo had established? If it was, that connection must have faded by now since he hadn’t be able to repeat the feat. Or maybe it was because he had been meditating on the shuttle while Kylo slept. Somehow Kylo’s thoughts and emotions always seemed more distant when he was asleep. Most people’s did in fact. It was like they were floating to some far off dreamland or maybe retreating deeply within themselves. If Kylo retreated into himself it certainly wasn’t to the place where Ben was trapped at least.

Ben shook his head and tried to refocus his thoughts. Things with Kylo were a fixed constant, but Hux represented an enigmatic new variable in Ben’s lonely existence. For months, he had felt only stillness from Hux, and now he had gotten two incidences of real emotion just days apart! Ben’s excitement at this turn of events was dampened when he remembered the kind of emotions that he had picked up on. Frustration, self-loathing, dissatisfaction, sorrow, and fear - all feelings that were hard to call pleasant. Is that why Hux kept them hidden so deep in the first place? Had he decided that the best way to deal with this emotions was just to not feel any at all?

The combination of fear and relief that he had picked up on right before Hux’s feelings had gone still again came back to Ben’s mind. What had that been about? Had the sudden appearance of Kylo’s dark figure in his office managed to scare a half-asleep Hux? It seemed like a completely reasonable explanation. Most people would be afraid if the first thing they saw upon awakening was a large hooded figure in a mask standing only a few feet away. That didn’t seem right though.

Closing his eyes, Ben thought carefully about those faint ripples of emotion. He tried to conjure up their exact vibrational patterns. The fear hadn’t exactly been directed at Kylo. It wasn’t so much a fear of someone being in the room, as it was a fear of being seen by that person. No, that wasn’t exactly it either. Ben tried again and focused more of the sense of relief this time. Hux had been relieved at the realization that something was missing. He had been afraid that Kylo might have seen something in particular, but had calmed down immediately when he realized that it wasn’t there in the first place. That was as close as Ben could get to deciphering that riddle. Emotions aren’t as specific as thoughts, and certain details were far more easy to find in the mind than in the heart.

He was still very curious though. Just what had Hux been afraid of letting Kylo see? It must have been something obvious if Hux was able to tell so quickly that it was missing. Was it some kind of secret file on his holoscreens, some object that could have been on his desk, or even just his hair being in disarray after a nap? Ben smiled at that last option. It was amusing to think that Hux might be that concerned about ruining his image in front of the master of the Knights of Ren.

Still, there was a peculiar sense of vulnerability to the fear that he had felt. It must have been something more than a slightly tarnished image that Hux was afraid of. And then there had been another, barely detectable pulse of fear when Hux had stumbled for a second. It had seemed like such a minor thing, but it had reopened the crack wide enough for the slimmest scrap of emotion to slip through.

Again, Ben found himself wishing that he could just reach beyond this small fragment of mindscape that he was trapped in. He could only tell so much from the scraps that he managed to pick up from Hux, and there had to be more there than just that. Who knew how many secrets Hux kept hidden away deep inside of himself? If the glimmers that managed to escape were any indication, then some of those secrets were probably causing Hux pain. Maybe he could help Hux in some way?

It was a foolish thought. Even if he did manage to reach Hux, then what? How was he going to get around those walls that normally keep all emotions sealed tightly away? Hux didn’t seem like the type who would open up to just anybody. He was too concerned with not being perceived as weak. Was that a part of it? Did Hux think his emotions would only make him weak?

Kylo had returned to his quarters by now and was preparing to go to sleep. He had been told to expect another mission soon, and heading out without resting first didn’t seem appealing. Inside the mindscape, Ben slowly turned and trudged back over to the rock upon which he normally meditated. Maybe the added stillness of Kylo being asleep would help him figure something out. If nothing else, he could at least try to sense Hux’s thoughts from a distance. Ben wasn’t sure how far his own abilities extended when he wasn’t taking in information from Kylo’s Force-scans. The personal quarter’s of the ship’s officers weren’t that far away. It seemed like sensing Hux there might be doable. That would require Hux to actually be in his quarters though. From the sounds of things, Hux hadn’t been back there in a while, but hopefully the incident in the office would motivate him to get at least a little sleep. Ben didn’t have much to rely on other than hope at this point.

 

For several hours, Ben sat and patiently waited for Hux to draw near enough that he would be able to sense his thoughts. His sweeps of the nearby rooms and hallways had turned up thoughts from a number of different people, but none of them had matched the relentless flow of mental energy that he normally got from Hux. It was possible that Hux’s private quarters were simply too far away for him to sense. After all, Ben couldn’t tell how far his senses actually extended, and he also had no idea where Hux’s quarters actually were. He was starting to think that this may have been a pointless endeavor. Physical proximity did seems to make detecting thoughts so much easier. With the upcoming mission, such proximity with Hux would probably be hard to come by for a while.

He wasn’t entirely sure why, but Ben didn’t want to give up on finding Hux. Maybe it was how quiet things were for once. Kylo’s thoughts seemed far off, or at least thoroughly separated enough in the mindscape that they weren’t clouding Ben’s senses. It was so much easier to hear what other people were thinking when he didn’t have to filter it out of the tangled mess of Kylo’s thoughts. The occupants of the nearby rooms were also thinking quietly in their sleep. Ben liked such moments when the world around him was still and peaceful. The darkness seemed to recede just the tiniest bit in such moments. These were also the moments he felt the most alone in the world. With everything else gone quite, there wasn’t anything to distract him from how undeniable alone he was.

Another sweep of the surrounding area, and still nothing of interest. Ben focused on quieting his mind and erasing any doubt that may be lingering there. Years ago, his uncle had attempted to teach him the value of such quiet stillness when using the Force, and the difference between trying and doing. His mind had been far too clouded by Snoke’s lies to really take in those teachings back then. But after the divide, Ben had learned to appreciate the teachings through a new found clarity. He let go and simply allowed his senses to spread out, still searching. Time and space became harder to gauge, but that hardly seemed to matter.

Then, at what felt like the very edge of his range, there was a whisper. It was steadily drawing closer, and becoming louder, more layered, and multifaceted. Had he not been in such a deep state of meditation, Ben might have leapt to his feet in excitement. There he was! Hux was finally heading back to his quarters for some rest, even though his head was still filled with racing thoughts about orchestrating the swift takedown of the nameless coalition. A surprising number of those thoughts were muddled and trailed off before they could be properly finished. The nap earlier clearly hadn’t been enough to compensate for all the hours that he had gone without proper sleep. At least he was acknowledging the fact that he couldn’t keep going like this for much longer.

Ben stilled his broad sweeping searches. Now that he had finally found Hux, he wanted to read as deeply into his energy as he could. Mental energy was still the only things that Ben could detect. The high walls were holding fast, keeping any tremors of emotion far beyond Ben’s reach. He could almost imagine those walls, dark and looming, a far more structured version of the spires that Kylo had created. There would have to be flaws in those walls though. It wouldn’t be apparent at first, but there would be rough spots where cracks had been patched too hastily and rebuilt sections that didn’t quite match the surrounding parts. What exactly would the walls be made of though? Would they be made of stone like some ancient citadel, or would they be sleek and metallic? Metal would certainly be a better fit for Hux’s image.

These visualizations of walls made Ben start to wonder if he could get an actual vision of what Hux was currently doing. Maybe with enough effort and concentration it could happen. It certainly would be nice to be able to see something without having to rely on Kylo’s eyes. Ben tried to think back to the time aboard the shuttle and what had led up to him having the vision of Hux then. He had been trying to hold on to the last fragments of emotions that were flowing back to Hux. There weren’t any emotions for him to hang on to now. Hux’s thoughts indicated that he was still getting ready for bed, but he wasn’t giving the routine tasks much thought at all. He was far more concerned about matters that would require his attention once he awoke and reported for his next work shift.

There was also something else. A half-formed thought that kept darting around underneath all the others. Ben was curious about it, but he didn’t want to risk digging too deep into Hux’s mind. Years of watching Kylo pry into the minds of others had taught Ben that even people who lacked Force abilities could feel when deeper parts of their minds were being probed. He would have to be content with fragments of “...that again…” and “...don’t want…” which he managed to pick out from the rest of the noise of Hux’s thoughts. Ben couldn’t stop the twinge of concern within himself. Was there something that worried Hux on an almost subconscious level? Could it have any relation to the fear from earlier?

He was getting off track again. Pondering such elusive snippets of thought wasn’t going to get him any closer to being able to see what was going on. Ben did his best to still his mind once again and direct his focus towards sensing more than just thoughts. Maybe picking up on something more physical would allow him to at least get some hazy outline of a vision. What was Hux doing at this exact moment? Filtering out the continuous murmur of thoughts, Ben tried to get a feeling for the positioning of Hux’s body and the movements that he was making. The attempts felt awkward and clumsy. Something about the movement of a hand, turning to face a different direction, that was all Ben was able to make out at first. He wondered if his prolonged disconnect from being in a physical form was making this exercise so difficult. Was he having such a hard time connecting to Hux’s movements because he had simply forgotten what it was like to actually be in control of a body?

Still, Ben pushed on and kept trying to get a more clear idea of what Hux was doing. Turning to glance sideways, setting something down - the sensations were starting to settle in and become more and more defined. The feelings seemed to click into place more fully over the course of a series of footsteps. Faint coldness from the floor was replaced by the brush of cloth as Hux finally climbed into bed. Ben could feel the way Hux’s limbs shifted under the covers as he settled and waited for sleep to come to him. This pause in movement allowed Ben to divert some of his attention to visualizing the scene. Sensations guided him to imagine Hux laying on his back. His posture seemed overly stiff for someone who was trying to fall asleep. Was he hoping to maintain an authoritative facade even while asleep? That seemed a bit absurd.

Nothing changed for a while. Hux continued to lay motionless while Ben worked on making his visualization more detailed. He imagined Hux’s hair fanning out slightly along the pillow, free of it’s usual rigid style. There probably wouldn’t be much light in the room for it to catch and reflect in a fiery glow. Hux’s enigmatically colored eyes would be hidden now, but that would make his pale lashes all the more apparent. The slightness of frame was also hard to ignore under such close scrutiny. Ben was reasonably familiar with how a body of Kylo’s proportions felt, and Hux seemed slimmer in almost every way imaginable. Even his hands felt like they were smaller than Kylo’s. Ben visualized those hands carefully folded on top of the covers. The image was become more complete now, but it was still far off from a true vision. The outlines kept shifting and blurring, and the colors of it all felt fake. As if his mind lacked the right pigments to make the picture look like the real thing.

As Ben struggled to correct all the flaws in his visualization, something began to shift. A quick glance at Hux’s mental energy showed that he had fallen asleep now. His thoughts were quieting down like most people’s did during sleep, but there was also an intensity that was building. Or rather, there were shadows gathering around the walls that Hux had so carefully constructed. It was a viscous, caustic sludge that sought out weak points and slowly ate away at them. Old cracks started to open back up and the slightest tremors of emotion began to slip out.  
There was fear curling in on itself, frantic defiance trying to push back against the darkness, a sense of being overwhelmed bursting and tearing through in pulses, dread sinking among the rest, and resignation to the inevitable pooling as a heavy, painful stillness below all the other activity. The darkness continued to chip away from the outside and it seemed like the inner turmoil might only be hastening the destruction of the walls from the inside. Larger waves of emotion were spilling out as the cracks grew wider.

Still tuned into Hux’s physical position, Ben felt him begin to move. He was turning onto his side and curling up slightly as if trying to protect his core from the onslaught. Despite the cascading energy, Ben tried to still himself. If he could just somehow find the tiny thread, if he could just deepen the connection a little bit more, maybe he would see Hux. He tried to dissolve into the waves that continued to wash over him. A part of him was spreading out and being carried away by the flow, but most of him still seemed contained in a single piece that was focused on Hux’s emotional and physical state.

Then, without warning, one of the drifting fragments of Ben seemed to finally connect. He was being pulled into a vision and everything became sharper, more concrete, and vivid. Rather than just imagining, it was like he was actually in the room with Hux now. As if he was floating above him, possibly close enough to touch. The splay of his hair on the pillow, the flutter of his eyelashes against his cheek, the twitching of his fingers at the edge of the blanket all looking so absolutely real.

Ben want to reach out to him. He wanted to rip away the darkness that was swirling around Hux. He wanted slip past those walls and sooth the turbulence within. Not still it completely, just ease all the discordant tremors and clear out the heaviness. What would Hux’s emotions be like if they weren’t so clouded by pain and fear? Ben tried to reach out, but of course this was just a vision. The closest thing he has to a body was still trapped within Kylo’s mindscape.

A massive jolt of pain suddenly shot through Ben. It was both electric and ice cold and constricting in a way that made it almost impossible to breath. The vision started to falter. Had the darkness managed to penetrate so deep that it was eating away through the connection now? Another even more chilling thought hit Ben. If he felt this horrible just from reading this energy, how much pain must Hux be in as the origin point of the experience? Had Ben actually need air, he might have been suffocating from the tightness in his chest. He had to reach Hux! He had to find a way to stop all of this!

The vision faltered even more. His connection to Hux was slipping! There was no time to waste. Ben couldn’t risk losing what was left of the vision, so he kept his eyes squeezed firmly shut as he got up and started charging through the mindscape. The currents of emotional energy that swirled around him pushed him about with every step, but he pressed onward. Hux was in pain, and as long as the connection remained open there just had to be some way to reach him!

Ben finally felt his hand make contact with something cool and solid just as the last shreds of the vision were swallowed up by darkness. The connection wasn’t simply being occluded, Ben felt like he was suddenly being shoved out of Hux’s energy. Stillness now replaced what had been turbulently swilling emotions only a moment before. The intensity of it all had left Ben shaken. He carefully leaned forward against the mass in front of him, not daring to open his eyes just yet. It was foolish, but he wanted so much to believe that the smooth stone beneath his palm was some part of the wall around Hux’s emotions. He wanted to think that the darkness had left and that the stillness was nothing more than the cracks being instantly patched up. For just a little longer Ben wanted to maintain the illusion that he might have finally managed to connect with another person after all the years of isolation.

Slipping down to his knees and breathing deeply more so out of meditative habit than real need, Ben braced himself for what he would see when he finally opened his eyes. After another carefully measured breath, he finally forced his eyes open and gazed upon the truth. The base of a twisted black spire was all that stood before him. He balled his hands into fists against its surface. Of course he was still trapped within this mindscape prison. Of course he hadn’t magically been able to pass beyond this ring of spires that existed only to cut him off from the rest of the world.

He turned around and leaned back against the smooth face of the black stone. The way back to his usual spot was unobstructed by any sort of current, but Ben felt too tired and dejected to do much other than stare blankly down at his hands. The shackles and chains that bound him were still there like always. Funny, hadn’t the chains been too short to allow him to even reach these spires earlier? It seemed like an important observation, but Ben couldn’t continue that train of thought. This had all been too much and he was feeling so drained. Ben wasn’t capable of sleep, but he let himself to slip into a state close to it. And so, for the first time in a long while, he checked out and simply allowed his mind to exist in un-observing silence.  


 

When proper awareness finally returned to Ben, he realized that Kylo had already departed for his next mission. Soon, he would be back on the jungle planet looking for traces of an enemy base. If he found it, a battle would surely ensue. Ben had no desire to pay much attention to any of it. Especially not when there were things that he still needed fully process. He was still sitting with his back to the spires, and even the extended period of near unconsciousness hadn’t been enough to fully erase the heaviness of fatigue from his limbs. Looking down at his hands, Ben saw that his earlier observation about the shackles still held true. They were still firmly binding him, but sure enough, he had somehow managed to make it all the way to the spires this time. It seemed like a good enough place to start his contemplations at least.

The frantic scramble had been far from his first attempt to reach beyond this prison, but never before had he managed to move far enough to even touch the spires with a single finger tip. What had suddenly changed? Was this some strange-side effect of the visions? If it was, he had no idea why those two things would be connected. Maybe it was the fact that he had been trying so hard to reach out to another person for once? Most of his previous struggles had been futile attempts to stop Kylo from committing some new atrocity. His chains had never gotten longer and he’d failed to reach Kylo no matter how much he struggled and screamed. He had obviously failed to actually contact Hux either, but could the mere act of attempting to reach beyond Kylo have the power to change things?

This train of thought was getting him nowhere. There were just too many things that he didn’t know about the rules of this mindscape prison to solve this puzzle now. Maybe he would have better luck with trying to unravel the enigma that was Hux. He had finally managed to sense emotion from Hux after all. And three times over the span of a few daily cycles no less! Something about the last two incidents didn’t quite add up though. The first time aboard the shuttle could easily be written off as the after-effects of an incompletely closed off Force link, but the link should have been completely broken after a few cycles. If that was the case, he shouldn’t have been able to sense anything from Hux beyond his usual emotional stillness. It was possible that the link had somehow managed to persist, but that didn’t fully make sense either.

He had a permanent connection with Kylo and that meant getting a constant flow of information about Kylo unless he consciously choose to tune it out. A lingering connection with Hux should have also resulted in a steady influx of thoughts and feelings from him, but that wasn’t what had happened. He had to actively listen for Hux’s thoughts to hear them, and that only worked if Hux wasn’t too far away. Connecting to Hux physically had required even more concentration and was just as limited by range. Hux’s emotions remained enigmatic. Sensing them was more unpredictable than any of the other kinds of energy! He should have been able to at least feel something when he had submerged himself into Hux’s physical sensations, but instead there had been only stillness. It seemed like Hux’s emotions were only appearing in random bursts when his protective walls grew too thin to hold them back. Why hadn’t he been able to sense anything from Hux before then? If this wasn’t a permanent connection and the emotional outpourings were happening at random intervals, why hadn’t he been able to detect anything until a few days ago? Was Hux just so worn down that his walls were being broken down faster than ever now?

Suddenly, Ben’s train of thought came to a careening halt. Worn down. That was it! That was the key! The bursts of emotion weren’t random at all! For whatever reason, Hux had made the choice to lock away all of his emotions, but keeping them locked away was not so simple. The walls he put up could get worn down if he didn’t have the strength to maintain them. Hux was far from weak though, and he went to great lengths to maintain appearances. Sure, he could looked rather stressed out at times, but he always projected an image of being in complete control of the situation. Exhaustion was a sign of weakness that Hux would never allow himself to display. No matter how tired he got or how worn down his walls got, Hux would find it in himself to keep it together. At least as long as he was conscious enough to do so.

Feeling energized by his realization, Ben got up and began to pace around the edge of the mindscape. The one common thread between all three times that he had managed to connect to Hux had nothing to do with a Force link at all. Well, it may have had something to do with the first incident, since Ben hadn’t actively been paying attention to Hux at that time. But the other two times were purely a result of Ben paying attention to a sleeping Hux. He hadn’t thought to do that earlier because most people seemed to radiate less emotions while asleep. Ben could feel a smile spreading across his face. Of course he should have known better than to assume that the enigmatic Hux would be like most other people.

Ben briefly stilled his thoughts and attempted to find Hux through the Force. Unsurprisingly, Hux was too far away to be detected. That was unfortunate, but it just meant that Ben would have to wait a while. He paced faster thinking about what he could try once Kylo finished his mission and returned to the Finalizer. Maintaining a sense of calmness seemed to be important. He had allowed the pain and his own fears to overwhelm him, and he lost the vision as a result. Ben paused and ran a hand over one of the jagged obsidian spires. If he managed to maintain his composure, would he be able to reach beyond? Not into the swirling vortex of Kylo’s mind, but a different beyond. If he tried hard enough, would these dark spikes shift and smooth themselves until they transformed into the walls that Hux used to keep his feelings locked away from the rest of the world?

The heavy numbness from earlier had now been replaced by a steady, thudding pulse of excitement and a solid and unwavering sense of conviction. Ben finally knew when and where he needed to look to find out more about Hux’s heart. He wanted to do more than look, though. If the lengthened chains told him anything, it was that there had to be some kind of way for him to do more than passively watch the world go by. He didn’t know if there was anyway for him to break free, but maybe he didn’t need to. If the chains could stretch, maybe they would stretch far enough for him to reach Hux. Reaching, not just in the sense of being able to read his energy more clearly, but to the point where Hux could actually sense him too. How long had it been now since anyone had been able to sense Ben from deep inside of Kylo? Far too long, and Ben wasn’t content to let it stay that way. He wanted to connect. He wanted to be heard. He wanted to reach out, and for once, to find someone reaching back. Ben wanted that more than anything, even if he knew that connection could exist only in dreams.


	5. Rational Solution

Shadows loom along the ground as a trio of shuttles descends into an empty clearing. There is more than enough room for the ships to spread out, but they maintain a tight formation none the less. The orbital scans had shown no signs of intelligent life in the area, but after having faced one ambush on this planet already, the added precautions were an absolute necessity. Even though the assembled strike force was small, its loss would not be well received. The loss of the scouting party on the first mission had and the resulting questions about his competence had been more than enough for Kylo. He wasn't about to give Hux the opportunity to blame him for any more failures. No, he would carry out this assignment with such exacting precision that there would be no room left for any doubt in his abilities as a warrior or a leader.

Kylo strode out of his new command shuttle and Stormtroopers immediately gathered around him to await orders. A wave of a raised hand signaled for them to take a step back and wait as Kylo attempted to pinpoint the location of their target. He allowed his eyes to slip shut as he tapped into the Force and used it to peer deep into the ground. In his mind's eye, he imagined a brilliant crimson energy radiating out from him and seeping into the surface of the planet as it spread. The red was swept along by the natural currents of the Force that flowed below him. By tracing these currents he would be able to see any caves that could serve as bases, as well as any lifeforms that were hiding there.

A scan of such breadth was not a simple task for a single person. Force currents were usually subtle things, and it was impossible for Kylo to read large areas all at once. In a few seconds, his red tracer energy had expanded to the limit of what he could monitor. It showed nothing out of place below this particular clearing. Of course finding the enemy base wasn't going to be that simple. Kylo now began to envision his crimson cloud moving through the ground in an ever expanding spiral, tracing currents as it passed through.

For several minutes there were only animal burrows, the roots of great trees, subterranean pockets of water and small streams. Nothing that even remotely resembled a base. Nowhere that an enemy force could be hiding and plotting their next move. Then, several miles to the northwest, Kylo's roving could of energy detected a boundary between slow solid firmness and a quick wispy lightness. The edge of a stone cavern! Kylo immediately shifted his focus to tracing the whole cavern in red. His search directed the energy deeper and deeper into the cave, until, deep below the planet's surface, he sensed metal. The patterns were far too ordered to be natural deposits. These were the shapes or walls and rooms and doors. And beings. There were beings in there too. A cruel grin spread across Kylo's face. If those beings thought all those walls and doors were enough to keep them safe, they clearly had no concept of the kind of power that he wielded.

A few commands was all it took, and the troopers were dutifully following after Kylo as he unclipped his saber and slashed a path through the jungle. No sense in worrying about upset locals now. Not when there were enemies that needed to be eliminated so close by. And oh how Kylo wanted to destroy every creature and piece of machinery inside that place. Their existence had interfered with his previous mission, and even worse, it had caused Hux to question his abilities. Perhaps it was only a small disgrace in the long run, but Kylo had never been one to accept losses with grace. They had gotten lucky with the ambush, but now he would make them pay for every drop of that luck.

As Kylo entered the cool shade of the caverns, he had to firmly remind himself that it would not do to destroy everything inside the base. Hux had mentioned that this looked like the work of an organized coalition. If that was the case, then there could be valuable information stored on the consoles and in the minds of the individuals inside. Absolute devastation of the base would be seen as yet another failure. The first of many doors appeared in Kylo's path, and almost instantly he crumpled it as easily as a dead leaf. He would still slash and crush his way through this place. He would still make these enemies pay for their offense, but he would spare a few, for now. And as he slashed through displays and projectors, he dutifully avoided damaging consoles and data chips. The furniture, however, received absolutely no mercy from the frenzied blows of his lightsaber.

Once the few chosen survivors had been rounded up and forced to huddle at blasterpoint among the wreckage of the base, Kylo ordered the Stormtroopers to collect as much information from the prisoners and machines as they could. He also made it clear to the sniveling beings that if they did not give up everything they knew to the troopers, he would personally rip the knowledge from their minds. With that threat still hanging fresh in the air, Kylo swiftly departed back towards the surface. The threat had been neutralized now, but restraining his thirst for retribution had left his blood boiling. A hunting trip would help release some of the pent-up aggression. The beasts of this world would certainly be far more useful to him dead than alive.

 

Hours later, just as the last traces of orange and pink were starting to fade from the sky, a huge form emerged from the jungle surrounding the First Order's encampment. The troopers on guard immediately took aim at the wildly irregular shape that was swiftly approaching their location. The weapons were dropped just as quickly once they managed to get a good look at exactly what, or rather, who, had stormed into their camp so suddenly. Kylo Ren had finally returned, and he was about as far from empty handed as was physically possible. A huge bundle of assorted leafy plants, root vegetables, and even entire fruit laden branches were tucked under his left arm and obscured much of his torso. Several rodents of an alarmingly large size hung over the opposite shoulder and only further distorted his silhouette. The troopers stood in motionless silence as Kylo passed them and entered his command shuttle. Possibly, they were afraid of being reprimanded for stepping out of line. More likely, they were terrified of Kylo's disgruntled aura which suggested anyone who dared question him would face a very real danger of becoming the next addition to the pile of rodent corpses.

The hunting trip had not managed to calm Kylo nearly as much as he had hoped. He stomped down the hall of the shuttle until he reached the spot where he had hidden several crates. The newly acquired provisions were dumped unceremoniously onto the floor as Kylo pulled out the crates. There was no point in bothering to prepare any of the edible portions now. The enemy base had been successfully raided, and the strike team would be returning to the Finalizer in, at most, a few standard hours. Kylo stuffed the contraband provisions into the crates without much care. He wished he could go somewhere more isolated. The unsettling feeling of something having shifted out of alignment was back. Kylo wanted to take off his mask and rub at his temples. Maybe it would help slide things back into place. He couldn't risk one of the stormtroopers coming by and seeing his face though. The intimidation the mask's anonymity provided him was too valuable to lose over something like this. He would just have to find a quiet spot to meditate once the ship took off. If he couldn't physically massage away the source of his discomfort, maybe he could find a way to remove it mentally.

Kylo did indeed try to meditate, but his thoughts kept wandering back to the crates and what he would do with their contents once he was back on the Finalizer. It was easy enough to spook a handful of stormtroopers into ignoring the contraband, but a whole hanger full of people, including officers, was a different matter. At least the unmarked crates would be less conspicuous than armloads of uncovered alien flora and fauna. Kylo was especially concerned that news of the contraband would reach Hux. Well, more so that it would reach Hux before Kylo could execute his plan. That was why he had brought back so much stuff this time after all. He would keep some of the supplies for himself of course, but the rest would be put directly towards ensuring that Hux got enough nutrition. Kylo wasn't about to let the problem of Hux's irresponsible attitude towards meals potentially interfere with the running of the Finalizer. This whole plan with gathering supplies, preparing meals, and giving them to Hux was simply the natural solution to that problem. It was simply the rational solution.

 

The command shuttle docks aboard the Finalizer without incident. Kylo lets the Stormtroopers handle giving the initial mission report to the handful of officers that had gathered in preparation for the strike team's return. The maintenance techs that traced routine inspection paths through and around the shuttles were a bit more troublesome to deal with. Thankfully, a bit of suggestion backed up by the Force proved to be adequate enough to convince a pair of techs that they had already inspected the portion of the shuttle where Kylo was guarding his secret supplies. Kylo sat and waited as the techs completed their inspections and transported the command shuttle back to its designated spot in the hangar. Once he was sure they had all moved on to other tasks, Kylo brought the small stack of crates to hover around him with a flick of his wrist. Carrying them all by hand would obstruct his vision, and he couldn't have that if he wanted to make it back to his quarters undetected.

A few strategically chosen detours kept Kylo well out of the way of most of the Finalizer's crew. The few individuals who did wander too close were promptly turned away with strict commands from Kylo while the crates hovered safely out of sight. Conveniently, most people seemed to prefer staring at the floor rather than the ceiling when confronted with the Kylo Ren's looming presence. Kylo reached the entrance to his quarters without anything that could be considered an incident. With a few quick motions, Kylo entered his chambers, locked the door behind him, and sent the crates off to rest near a series of drawers and panels that were set into an otherwise featureless wall.

With the threat of having the contraband supplies discovered now behind him, Kylo turned his attention to something else. About two standard day cycles must have passed since the encounter in Hux's office. In that time, Kylo had been unable to monitor Hux's condition. Now that he was more acutely aware of Hux's bad habits, Kylo felt that it was only natural that he should check in on the general with some regularity for the sake of the whole ship's well-being. The image of crimson spreading out and searching once again filled Kylo's mind. Luckily, Hux was on a nearby deck of the ship and Kylo was able to lock on to his energy with ease. There was a weariness there, but it was minor. Just the usual stress of coordinating missions and keeping the Finalizer running efficiently. Nothing in Hux's energy indicated that he had been neglecting to get proper sustenance either. That was a good sign, but Kylo doubted how long things would stay that way. Plenty of data had been recovered from the enemy base. If some of it proved to be useful, would Hux be able to resist the urge to bury himself in the work of planning out the Order's next move? Would he start skipping meals again? Well, that would not be so easy now that Kylo had decided to start personally handling that matter. Kylo allowed the visualization to fade away and the sights of the room around him to return. He had much work ahead of him if he wanted to be ready for the next time Hux decided to prioritize work over meals.

Swiftly, Kylo divested himself of his helmet, cowl, gloves, and the outer layers of his robes. They would only get in his way as he worked on turning the raw supplies into more readily edible forms. With practiced motions, wall panels were popped open to create a countertop, sharp tools of varying sizes were retrieved from drawers, portable hot plates were pulled out of their hiding spots, and several pots, pans, and plates were arranged along the work space. Just as Kylo began to pull the first few items out of the crates sitting by his feet, he suddenly froze mid-motion. What exactly was he going to make with all of this? He'd gotten so caught up in the idea of remedying Hux's bad habit of skipping meals with contraband food that he'd somehow managed to overlook the fact that he had no idea what kind of food Hux would even eat!

Dropping the rodent leg and leafy plant he had been holding, Kylo leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Specific meal choices were not recorded since all the standard rations held the same basic nutritional value thanks to their mostly synthetic contents. Despite rumors, there were also no secret lounges aboard the Finalizer that provided more luxurious meal options to the upper ranks. Kylo's own secret stash of contraband was about as close as the ship ever got to what could even remotely be considered fine cuisine. He had to laugh a bit at that thought. Maybe he would bring some truth to those rumors. Although, he had no intention of sneaking meals to all of the ship's top brass. Keeping track of Hux would be enough of a challenge, and besides, Kylo didn't think any of the other high-ranking officers were such massive workaholics. Even the most ambitious ones couldn't match Hux in the amount of time, effort, and meticulousness they put into their work. It wasn't by chance that Hux had been promoted so quickly after all.  


Kylo took another deep breath and refocused his thoughts on the contents of the crates again. There were so many different dishes that he could create with the rich variety of ingredients he currently had, but variety wasn't really what he needed. What Kylo knew about Hux suggested that he was a man of routine and habit. If Kylo was planning to get Hux to break from his usual habits, something entirely unfamiliar wouldn't work. So, the dish needed to be similar to what was usually served on the Finalizer. Kylo cringed a bit as he mentally ran through the catalog of tasteless and bland rations that he had to put up with whenever he ran out of contraband food.

The overtly synthetic options were immediately thrown out, but the stew, that was something Kylo might be able to work with. Its appearance would be easy enough to mimic with the natural ingredients, to a degree at least. Kylo didn't think he could prepare anything that would quite match the unappealing shades of brown and gray of the synthetic stew. Still, if he left out any of the seasonings that he had tucked away deep in one of the drawers, Kylo figured he could make a stew that would at least be palatable for someone who was as thoroughly used to eating nothing but standard rations as Hux was. With this newly crystallized plan in mind, Kylo returned to the task of transforming ingredients into an actual meal.

 

It was two cycles later when Kylo finally detected signs of skipped meals showing up in Hux's energy. A series of minor incidents had kept Hux busy throughout his extended work shift, and of course, he had elected to skip meals in favor of getting things back under control. This seemed like the perfect opportunity for Kylo to test out his plan. A meeting of relevant high ranking personnel had just been called to discuss the various malfunctions that cropped up, and that would surely keep Hux well away from his office long enough for Kylo to drop off some of the stew without being detected.

Carefully, Kylo retrieved the pot of stew from the conservator compartment where he had been keeping it and placed it on a hotplate to reheat it. The question of how best to actually present the meal still remained though. Simply bringing the food on a tray the way the droids did normally just didn't seem right. An uncovered bowl on a tray would allow the stew to cool far too quickly, and it might raise unnecessary questions if any of the other officers walked into Hux's office and saw the contraband on his desk. Wrapping the tray in a thermally isolating film would potentially look even more suspicious. Droid delivered meal trays were never wrapped up. Besides, the chaotic contours of a meal covered in thermal wrapping seemed like it would be too unseemly, or perhaps inelegant, for Hux to ever accept. A small, unmarked, thermally isolated container would be best then. Such a presentation seemed like it would be neat enough to avoid an immediate rejection from Hux, and it would keep the contents warm and safely out of view from any unwanted visitors.

With a little bit of digging through storage compartments, Kylo was able to find a container that was just the right size. It was just large enough to fit a regulation-sized bowl but small enough to prevent the bowl from moving inside the container. The plain gray exterior would also raise no questions. Similar looking containers were regularly used for non-food deliveries aboard the Finalizer. Kylo set the container down on the work counter and turned his attention back to the pot. A quick check showed that the stew had reached a pleasantly warm temperature and was ready to be served. Working quickly but precisely, Kylo transferred a generous portion of stew into a bowl and gently set the bowl inside the container. He was about to replace the lid when he realized that there was no way this plan would work unless he also included a set of utensils along with the food. If Hux had reached the point of skipping meals, he certainly wouldn't waste his time on getting utensils for food that suddenly showed up on his desk. And while it wasn't impossible to eat a stew like this by hand, Kylo just couldn't imagine Hux eating anything with only his hands. All the suitable utensils Kylo had on hand in his quarters were dirty, so a quick detour to the mess hall to grab a clean set was clearly in order.

Even with the detour, slipping through the halls and into Hux's office undetected proved to be a simple task. There were few people roaming about at such a late time in the cycle, and the area around Hux's office was effectively deserted. Kylo was able to walk right up to the door and override the security measures with a tendril of Force energy directed at the control panel. As expected, the office was empty, but Kylo knew it wouldn't stay that way for long. He had sensed that the meeting had been dismissed and that Hux was currently on his way back to his office with the intention of getting yet more work done. Kylo didn't consider that much of a problem at all though. If anything, Hux's prompt return meant there would be little chance for anyone else to come across the contraband meal first. That thought encouraged Kylo to set the container squarely in the middle of Hux's desk. It would certainly be difficult to overlook it or ignore its presence there.

A smile tugged at the corners of Kylo's mouth as he re-engaged the locks on the door and retreated down the hallway. It wouldn't be long now before he would get to witness the results of his scheme. He wouldn't see it with his physical eyes, but the Force would be able to convey to him almost everything that he wanted to know. Kylo slipped into a small, rarely used corridor where he was certain he wouldn't be disturbed and allowed his attention to drift almost completely back to Hux's office. Small doubts started to float through Kylo's mind and kept him from being able to completely narrow his focus. Now that he didn't have the distraction of his somewhat frenzied thoughts about implementing the plan, questions about its effectiveness were harder to ignore. Would Hux even bother to open the container? If he did, would he risk eating something from an unknown source? There wasn't any kind of a note on or in the container. Blatantly writing, "From Kylo Ren" or "It's not poisoned" seemed like the type of thing that would just discourage Hux from trying the food at all. Kylo had been staking the success of the plan on Hux's unwillingness to let perfectly good food go to waste, but would that really be enough?

The energy in the office shifted. It was enough to pull Kylo out of his spiraling thoughts and back towards the target of his remote observations. Hux had returned, and the unauthorized addition to the surface of his desk had instantly caught his attention. The murmurs of his surface thoughts indicated that he was intent on investigating the gray box. Hux was still on edge from the multiple mechanical failures that had occurred during the past day cycle, but he felt confident enough that this was not the work of any spies or saboteurs. Perhaps one of his subordinates had made the delivery and simply forgot to send the appropriate notification.

Those thoughts instantly vanished as soon as Hux opened the container. He did not recall ordering for food to be brought to him office. In fact, he never ordered for food to be brought to his office. The presentation of it also made him wary. Were the food service droids also starting to malfunction? He didn't need that on top of all the other things that were already going wrong. Thoughts about technical details and logistics were all that followed, and Kylo got the distinct sense that Hux must have closed the container and moved it out of the way of the holoscreens on his desk. It was disappointing. This wasn't the reaction that he had been hoping for. Still, Kylo had picked up on the hint of instinctual want when Hux had opened the box. Even if he consciously denied it, it was only natural that Hux would want to eat whatever food appeared in front of him when he hadn't had a meal all day. Kylo decided that he would be patient. Just because Hux hadn't immediately given in to his hunger, didn't mean that he would remain unswayed by the convenience of food being present so close by. Monitoring a steady stream of Hux's work related thoughts was thoroughly uninteresting to Kylo, but he was determined to endure it for the sake of watching his plan play out to the end.

It takes about two standard hours for Hux to finally admit to himself that the empty, gnawing sensation in his stomach was getting too distracting. Even though the mysterious stew was covered and tucked away in a drawer, Hux felt like the smell from it was still somehow managing to permeate the room. The scent was savory and subtle, and it kept drawing Hux's thoughts away from his work. Kylo could sense how much Hux still distrusted the unexpected gift as he drew the container out from where he had hidden it and removed the lid once more. A quick scan with a handheld instrument confirmed Hux's assumption that there was nothing that would be toxic to a human in the stew, and that, if anything, it seemed to have a high nutritional content. Without the lid, the smell was even more enticing. A thought of how none of the standard rations had such rich scents briefly slipped through Hux's mind before it was immediately buried. It seemed somehow improper to be having such complimentary thoughts about contraband from an unknown source. That wasn't entirely true. No reports of malfunctioning food service droids had shown up on the complaint list, and the next most likely culprit was Kylo Ren.

A torrent of rationalizations from Hux immediately followed. Going to the mess hall to get a different meal would mean leaving his console. Staying and accepting the food that may have been left by Kylo Ren would mean Hux could save valuable time and eat while continuing his work uninterrupted. It would also be wasteful to simply dispose of perfectly good food, even if it was contraband. After several minutes of the same points being echoed in different words, Kylo observed Hux's thoughts begrudgingly coming to the conclusion that the most rational solution was to stay and eat some of the mystery stew.

His plan was working! Kylo wanted to run a celebratory lap around the halls but refrained in favor of continuing to watch over Hux's thoughts. Kylo wanted to hear all of Hux's thoughts the food that had been prepared for him. Would he be able to pick up on any more reluctant praise from Hux? Thoughts of completed assignments and repairs in progress dominated Hux's thought stream, but brief flashes of sensory reactions let Kylo know that Hux was indeed still eating despite being so thoroughly absorbed in his work.

The thought pattern shifted a number of minutes later when Hux noticed with disdain that he had almost completely emptied the bowl without even realizing it. He didn't want to admit that the flavors of the stew had been perfectly balanced in a way that was enticing enough for him to want to keep eating but without being obtrusive enough to distract him from his work. Hux especially resented the idea that Kylo Ren could have orchestrated this little stunt, because it felt too much like Kylo had managed to get the upper hand on him by getting him to willingly eat the meal. A particularly strong sense of detestation came along with the thought of Kylo potentially having that kind of control over him, and an even stronger detestation at the notion that Kylo might see him as someone who needs to be taken care of like a small child.

Work-related concepts fill Hux's mind once again as he pulls himself away from thoughts of food, Kylo Ren, and what a connection between the two could potentially mean. Sensing nothing besides the intent to get more work done, Kylo finally pulls his own attention away from Hux's mind. An extremely self-satisfied smirk had appeared on Kylo's face when he had picked up on the fact that Hux had actually finished the meal that Kylo had provided for him. That smirk was still firmly in place. After all, he'd done something to help keep his ship running smoothly. Why shouldn't he feel proud? Kylo noticed that he also felt unusually warm. Was this section of hallway just not getting proper ventilation? He briefly considered mentioning the potential malfunction to a technician, but it didn't seem important enough. Minor errors in the ventilation system seemed like nothing in comparison to the work that needed to be done with monitoring Hux. Now that Kylo knew that he could get Hux to eat more regularly by simply bringing him meals, Kylo realized that he would have to be far more diligent about doing so. It was the rational solution to help keep the Finalizer running at peak efficiency after all.

 

So began a new routine. Kylo took every planetside mission as an opportunity to acquire even more contraband food than usual to maintain his stockpile aboard the Finalizer. Fresh ingredients and recently prepared meals were always kept at the ready for whenever Kylo sensed Hux skipping meals again. The regular monitoring also provided Kylo with a certain degree of insight into Hux's preferences based on which things tended to be left uneaten. Small sweets became almost ever present in the containers about a month in after Kylo noticed that Hux seemed to eat those most readily.

For over three months, Kylo continued on sneaking meals into Hux's office whenever it was necessary. That usually meant about two secret trips a week for Kylo. When Kylo picked up on the usual signs of hunger from Hux for a third time during a single week, Kylo wondered what was keeping Hux so busy. Brushing over Hux's surface thoughts hadn't revealed anything unusual at all. Kylo still had a few hours left before the end of his work shift, but he didn't let that keep him from slipping away back into his quarters. He had just returned from a planetside mission during the previous cycle and hadn't been able to prepare anything yet. As far as Kylo was concerned, tending to Hux's well being was more urgent than any of the petty tasks that were usually asked of him while he was on the Finalizer. He thought of the assortment of fresh sweet bread that he had gotten the previous day. What kind of a dish would best complement their flavor? Perhaps something with a sweet sauce to encourage Hux to eat the entire meal? Kylo immediately set about preparing the food as soon as he was back inside his quarters, completely absorbed in the task.

Once the entire meal was finally completed and carefully packed away inside of a container, Kylo diverted some of his attention away from the food to check on Hux's current whereabouts. A brief scan was enough for a sense of dread to settle over Kylo. Hux was currently in his office, and it appeared that he did not intend to leave it anytime soon. Kylo glanced at the nearest chronometer. All of the preparations had taken longer than he thought. Hux's shift on the bridge had already ended, and of course, he had gone straight to his office afterward. Cursing his own inattention, Kylo went over his options.

Up until this point, he had purposefully avoided being spotted with the food containers. Kylo knew from his glances into Hux's thoughts that Hux was convinced that he was the one behind the regularly appearing food containers. Yet, Hux still hadn't said anything to him about the meals, despite the fact that it had been going on for months now. Did Hux just not want to admit that he had been allowing Kylo to bring him food all this time? Kylo saw the deliveries as a personal accomplishment, but he still found himself hesitant to let Hux actually witness him bringing a container. Something about that image seemed too much like Kylo was just a servant who brought Hux food, rather than a leader who was quietly looking after the smooth operation of his ship.

Kylo tried to swallow back some of his dread. The food was already prepared, and if he didn't risk delivering it now, there was no guarantee that he would get another chance before it all spoiled. He tried to get another reading on Hux's mental energy for reassurance, but the results were quite and garbled. That was unusual. Was there something else going on with Hux that he had overlooked earlier? Kylo wasn't ready to go barging into Hux's office over the small anomaly, but it was enough to push to tuck the container safely under his cloak and creep into a hallway adjacent to the office.

Another scan from closer range only revealed more uncharacteristically, quiet, jumbled, and sporadic thoughts emanating from Hux. The fragments that Kylo managed to catch gave no indication of anything being wrong, but the way the thoughts kept hopping between random topics… Could Hux have fallen asleep in his office again? Kylo remained in the hallway for several minutes, waiting, carefully monitoring Hux's energy for signs that he might wake up. Nothing of the sort appears. The mental energy that radiated from the office indicated that Hux was indeed asleep. This was, unexpected to be certain, but it was also a perfect opportunity for Kylo. If he snuck into Hux's office now, he would be able to provide Hux with both a meal he sorely needed and a warning to be more wary of what may happen if he makes a habit of falling asleep at his desk.

Soundlessly, Kylo unlocked the door and slipped into the office. His reading of the energy had been correct after all. Hux was slumped over the surface of his desk, not moving except for the slow and steady shifting of inhales and exhales. A few steps brought Kylo to the edge of the desk. He carefully reached past the still active holodisplays and gently set the container directly in front of Hux. For a brief moment, he considered taking one of Hux's hands and placing it on top of the container to further illustrate the dangers of being caught while asleep. It would be too risky though. Hux's energy suggested that he was in a shallow state of sleep, and even slight physical contact might be enough to wake him. Kylo paused briefly as he noted how Hux had managed to hide his face so completely behind his arms without messing up his slicked back hair even slightly. The pause was only to make note of this. Not because Kylo needed a second to fight down the urge to turn Hux's head, just a little, to catch a glance of his face. Nor was it because Kylo had to suppress the impulse to run a hand through that meticulously arranged hair to see if it really would look more like flames if it was allowed to flow free. There was no time for such thoughts now. Kylo needed to leave quickly before he was caught. He allowed himself one last glance at Hux before turning back towards the door.

A sudden crash was the only warning Kylo got before something latched onto his right forearm, holding tightly enough to dig into the muscle there. It felt like lightning had shot up his arm from the suddenness of the contact, and at the same time, the rest of him felt like he had been plunged into the depths of an icy lake. Kylo didn't even need to turn around to understand what had happened. This had all been a trap, and he'd stumbled right into it. Hux had only been feigning sleep the entire time, waiting to catch Kylo as soon as he turned his back.  


"So, it really was you, Ren." On the surface, Hux's voice was as calm and measured as ever, but hints of triumph and displeasure still managed to slip in.

Cold swirling currents of turmoil engulfed Kylo. The heaviness of his dread felt like it was pulling him ever deeper into some abyss. He'd allowed overconfidence to slip in and cloud his judgment, and now he was caught with no way out. Simply breaking free from Hux's grip and bolting out the door wouldn't save him. If anything, it would only damn him further. Like some silent admission of wrongdoing. He couldn't escape. He couldn't back down. He had to respond. And yet, Kylo couldn't utter a single word or bring himself to move an inch. The overwhelming shock must have ensnared his entire body.

"These machinations may as well have had your fingerprints all over them. No one else aboard this ship would have the audacity to repeatedly intrude into my office and leave behind contraband." Hux grip on Kylo's arm tightened the slightest bit. "Now, here you are, daring to carry out your new favorite form of defiance in my presence." The displeasure was more evident now, but Hux's tone was still precisely calculated. Hux had taken the time to set up this trap, and no doubt this admonishing speech was a practiced part of it. It was all part of a plan.

Kylo wanted to run, to scream, to do something, anything! But he couldn't. His thoughts were scattered and lost to the icy currents that gripped him. He wanted to take action, but it was like he couldn't hold on to any idea long enough to go through with it. So he continued to stand, motionless, silent.

Leaning in over his desk, Hux drew closer to Kylo. "Do not for a second delude yourself into thinking that you have been managing to fool anyone Kylo Ren. You have been able to carry out your little delivery droid act only because I allowed it." Every word now dripped with venom, but that too was calculated. Not an outright threat, but a display of power that was meant to exert control. Hux released his vice grip on Kylo's arm with a rough jerk. So it would seem this was the end of the planned speech.

Breathing was the only thing that Kylo allowed himself to focus on for a few seconds. Now that Hux was finished with saying his prepared script, Kylo felt some of the icy shock beginning to recede. This was just another mind game that Hux was trying to play. Just another way of posturing and trying to show off his authority. Well, now it was truly Kylo's turn in this game. His thoughts began to coalesce with greater and greater ease, and as they came together, Kylo felt the heat of anger seep into him. It warmed him as it grew, but he knew it would be a bad idea to unleash it's full fiery force onto Hux. This was a mind game after all. Letting his temper show unrestrained was not the way to win this encounter.

"I've only been doing my duty as a leader to keep the Finalizer running smoothly. You're a part of this ship, and I won't allow you to be less productive or risk permanent damage to yourself because of your poor eating habits." Kylo had turned his body only enough to allow himself to glare over his shoulder at Hux. The mask hid Kylo's face, but he trusted that restrained fire in his voice would be enough for Hux to understand that Kylo wasn't backing down or admitting to any kind of defeat. Kylo continued to stare at Hux in silence for several seconds to emphasize his resolve before slowly turning back towards the door and taking a step towards it.

"You aren't staying?"

There was no venom in that statement. No traces of posturing, or a desire to control. No insinuation of it being the next turn in an ongoing mind game. The question sounded so earnest and so soft that Kylo could barely believe it was possible for Hux to have asked it. But there was no one else in the room, and the words had been spoken in what was unmistakably Hux's voice.

Waves and vortices of confusion returned to swirl around Kylo. The earlier shock of being caught in a trap had felt like being pulled deep into freezing waters. But this? This was different. It wasn't cold. It wasn't hot. It wasn't anything but swirling and the feeling of being adrift in the middle of a vast, bottomless ocean with no sight of shore or sense of direction. Kylo had no idea what to make of this question. The tone of it sounded all wrong to be part of the mind game between him and Hux, but it had to be. Hux had planned this whole encounter. He must have planned this too. That almost gentle tone had to be part of Hux's tactic. He must have done it on purpose to catch Kylo off guard and throw him off balance. That was the rational answer.

Despite the vastness of this new confusion, Kylo did not feel the same sense of being utterly bound. He was able to bring himself to once again turn his head and stare back at Hux. A perfect, unreadable blankness was all that Kylo saw upon Hux's face. That proved it! This had to be part of the mind game. The softness was just a trick. There was not even the slightest trace of it on Hux's face. But what was Hux trying to achieve by asking Kylo to stay? Did he have another lecture planned? A long-winded retort to Kylo's earlier remark? Kylo wanted to dig into Hux's thoughts and pull out the answers, but the waves were making him too unbalanced and unfocused. Even if he had been able to focus, Kylo doubted he would be able to discover much. Hux had been able to alter his surface thoughts enough to trick Kylo only minutes before. It was only natural to suspect that Hux would still be guarding his true thoughts. Lacking insight and still feeling hopelessly adrift, Kylo opted to remain silent and wait for Hux to make his next move.

"You always supply such excessive amounts of food. Surely, there will be more than enough for two meals in the container this time as well." Hux said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy, and that sent Kylo's mind reeling even more.

A shared meal? That was Hux's plan? The waves of confusion swelled higher still and Kylo felt like he was being intermittently submerged as they washed over him. What was Hux hoping to gain by making Kylo eat with him? Was Hux planning to humiliate Kylo somehow, or was this just a setup to throw Kylo off balance in preparation for Hux's next real blow? Kylo didn't know. He was drifting and drowning and he couldn't tell where any of this was going.

Glancing around the surface of the desk for some kind of an idea on what to do next, Kylo noticed a detail he might be able to work with. "There aren't any extra utensils or dishes," he stated as flatly as he could manage. He absolutely couldn't let Hux catch on to just how thoroughly unbalanced he felt at the moment. These missing items were a start. Perhaps it would be possible to walk away from this whole encounter without having to engage in this ridiculous mind game any further.

Briefly, Hux paused after hearing the comment, as if he was taking a moment to work it over in his mind. With careful motions, he slid open one of the drawers of his desk and pulled out a set of utensils that were still wrapped in a napkin the way all fresh utensil sets aboard the Finalizer were. Hux's gaze remained unwaveringly fixed on Kylo's as he did this. Under other circumstances, the intensity with which Hux performed this task would be almost comical. But here, it showed that this was anything but a joke. That intensity made the offer to share a meal into a challenge.

Kylo could only stare, dumbfounded, at the neatly wrapped bundle as his mind continued to flounder. Of course Hux had planned to have that at the ready. There's no way he would have proposed that they share a meal if he hadn't made every preparation for it in advance. But Hux had stilled after placing the utensil set on the desk. That left part of Kylo's question unanswered.

"What about the dishes?" It was a desperate grab for some way out of this mess, and Kylo was well aware of it. Neglecting to provide separate dishes could well be part of the plan after all. Perhaps it was meant to be a humiliation tactic. Forcing Kylo to take food that Hux offered him from his own plate as if Kylo were his pet. Would Hux be able to tolerate the idea of his food being contaminated by another person though? He seemed like the type to be overly concerned about cleanliness.

There was also the matter that some would consider eating food from a single plate as a display of some kind of intimacy. Just how far would Hux be willing to go for a show of dominance? Thoughts raced around and around inside of Kylo's head without being able to properly connect. The inner chaos almost caused him to miss Hux's quiet but unfaltering response.

"If you have brought the side-dishes are in separate bowls as you usually do, then it should be easy enough to redistribute the food in such a way that we will not have to share any plates or bowls." Deftly, Hux removed the lid of the container to reveal that, yes, there were indeed multiple plates and bowls tucked inside. The lid was set aside, and with fluid yet precise motions, Hux tapped several buttons on the control panel of the desk. The central holo display flickered out a moment later, providing Kylo with more direct access to the open container.

Another potential excuse to abandon the offered meal so easily done away with. Kylo slowly turned the rest of his body to face Hux properly. No other excuses, no other reasonable escape plans were coming to mind. Even though the waves of his own confusion made him feel like he might tip over at any moment, Kylo risked taking a step towards the desk. If he couldn't find a way to leave without exposing how unsettled he felt, he had no choice but to move forward and keep playing Hux's game for now.

"Do you intend to keep your mask on?"

Another wave and the room may as well be tipping around Kylo. Hux had managed to catch him off guard yet again. More dread permeated the currents of confusion and Kylo felt like he was drifting farther and farther away from some shore that he couldn't even see. Of course eating would mean having to remove his mask. That statement shouldn't have been shocking at all, but somehow, the thought of having to remove his mask hadn't even crossed Kylo's mind until Hux pointed it out to him.

A torrent of unvoiced questions flooded into Kylo's mind all at once. Was backing him into a corner and forcing him to remove his mask just Hux's way of getting even? Did Hux want Kylo to make himself vulnerable by showing his face as payback for the vulnerability that Kylo had witnessed that day when he had seen Hux truly asleep at his desk? What of the other members of the Finalizers crew? What if someone happened to burst into the office and caught sight of Kylo's face? The mask provided Kylo with anonymity and a good deal of intimidation. Losing that could hurt his ability of control the lower ranks. Was Hux's mind game worth that risk, no matter how slight it may be?

Kylo couldn't help but glance back toward the door. Churning energy prevented him from even being able to scan the space beyond the walls of the office. He'd have no warnings, no time to get his mask back on if anyone decided to enter the room without waiting.

A few soft tones broke the silence as Hux pushed more buttons on the control panel. "The door is locked again now. Emergency access only."

If this was a mind game, then Kylo felt like he was quickly losing ground. Hux had been able to read his apprehension effortlessly, he'd probably even planned for it. Still staring at the door, Kylo tried to still his thoughts enough to reconsider this situation more rationally. A cool head was the only way he'd be able to do anything more than fumble his way through this. He had to calm the waves and tread water long enough to consider his next move.

Letting go of the shock of the suddenness of it all, the lingering questions about why such an unnatural situation was even happening, and the hesitation surrounding being seen, Kylo brought himself back to a point where he didn't feel like he was in imminent danger of drowning in the roiling energy. The basic facts of the matter were that he had gotten caught in Hux's trap and that it was too well planned for there to be any easy ways out. To leave after being asked if he wasn't going to stay would be an obvious admission of defeat. To stay and refuse to remove his helmet or partake in the meal would be a different kind of defeat. Doing exactly want Hux asked of him would be playing right into his hands. It would mean Hux was in control, but at the same time, it was the only way to avoid looking petty and childish, or even worse, afraid.

After several more seconds of contemplation, Kylo finally turned back to face Hux. Forward was the only way through this now. A few short steps were enough to bring Kylo to the edge of the desk. Hux had pulled his chair back towards the desk at some point and was now sitting, waiting, for Kylo to make his next move. It may have been petty, but Kylo delayed his actions for a moment just so he could make a point of looming before Hux. Kylo knew he wasn't really in control of the mind game, but he could at least maintain the appearance that he had a physical advantage. It also didn't hurt that such a position forced Hux to look up at him to maintain some semblance of eye contact.

The next move couldn't be delayed any longer. There was no more time for thinking. Action was required now. With both hands, Kylo reached up and finally released the clasps of his helmet. He kept the pace of his motions calculated. Slow enough to appear casual, but not slow enough to betray any remaining apprehension. Not too fast either, or else it might look like he was in a hurry to get this all over with. He set the helmet down on a corner of the desk and returned his full attention to Hux. This was the first time that Kylo had ever taken his mask off in Hux's presence. Kylo was still a bit too rattled and unsure to risk trying to skim Hux's energy for clues of what he thought about finally being allowed to see the face of the man who effectively shared command of the Finalizer with him. Hux's face certainly betrayed nothing of his thoughts. His expression remained as cold and impassive as ever.

"Come, sit down." Hux gestured with one hand at the other chair in the room. It was standing slightly off to Kylo's side, out of the way, but within easy reach.

This was it. This felt like Hux's final attempt to push Kylo into backing out. His last try to break Kylo's resolve and force him to retreat. That wasn't going to happen. Kylo wasn't wouldn't allow himself to be scared off by something as simple as eating in front of another person. Though he loathed to admit it, Kylo still remembered a good deal of what he was taught during his old life to prepare him for important New Republic banquettes. If his weak self had been able to handle a hall full of dignitaries, then surely he had nothing to fear about eating in front of a single general. There was only one rational solution for this phase of the mind game.

And so, Kylo resolutely moved the chair into position directly across from Hux and took his seat. Putting on an uninterested expression, Kylo settled into a tauntingly relaxed pose. He fixed his gaze directly on Hux and nonverbally dared him to make his next move. The waves of uncertainty had started to churn the energy in Kylo's mind again, but he tried to ignore it. Nothing about this solution felt natural to Kylo at all. He couldn't back down now though. All the things Hux had said, all of the moves he had played, made that much absolutely clear. Kylo had to stay. He had to let this mind game play out. No, this did not feel like it was the natural solution to the mind game, but Kylo reminded himself yet again, this was simply the rational solution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned to take such a long hiatus from working on this story, but real life kind of kept me busy all summer. This chapter also felt like it might have been the hardest one to write so far. For some reason, I found myself constantly hesitating to work on the last part of this chapter. Maybe it's because that encounter is important for setting up what is to come later in the story, and I really wanted to make sure I got it right. 
> 
> Rest assured, I do plan to continue working on this story! I can't give a concrete release schedule, but I do want to try to get new chapters out every couple of weeks or so.
> 
> To all those that have stuck with this story so far, thank you so much for all your interest in and support of my writing! It really means a lot to me to know that I've been able to create something that other people can enjoy!


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